I finally did it.
Nearly five months after Rob died, and I started the thank you notes. I have written them umpteen times in my mind, but every time I started to put them on paper, I started to cry. It's very hard to write through a blur.
This morning I wrote through the blur of words and emotions and sent a blanket letter to the...unknown...number of people who sent/brought food, gift cards, letter of encouragement, plants, paper products, groceries, and....
I don't know all their names. Some gave no name. Families we didn't know brought food to our house, walked into my kitchen, sat food down, hugged us, cried with us, loved us, and walked out...no name attached. I honestly don't know how to convey the impact on my family.
We had months where family and friends died or disappeared or flat disowned us. We watched our "family" base disintegrate before our eyes, and here were these people who didn't know...who only knew this family had been given a hard, hard road to travel...and they wanted to make the journey easier...and they did.
They didn't just feed our bodies. They fed our souls, our hearts, and our minds.
When our family disintegrated, they became the family we didn't know existed.
How does one begin to convey the mind-altering, healing impact of such love?
This writer doesn't know.
All I know is we may not know their names, but I thank God in heaven they know ours.
Showing posts with label Gratitude Community. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Gratitude Community. Show all posts
Friday, July 8, 2011
Wednesday, June 22, 2011
Thankful 42--Because Today Hurt
I woke up this morning, wrote a blog, prayed for folks, wrote some notes, took care of some writing stuff God told me to address, and chose to "leap into the next adventure", per God's words.
And the next thing I knew I was the target of significant enemy fire. I won't go into all the details, but it was so personal and so clearly a targeted offensive that a song I had just told someone earlier today still rips at my heart came on while I was sitting at dinner with my children. I haven't heard the song on the radio in MONTHS, maybe since before Christmas, and today, I mention the flood of memories and hurt it creates, and BAM! There it is on the radio in a public place where I can't change the channel, and the other hits were just as personal, just as deep, and just as hard.
I stood in front of God and said, "I just told these people not to quit, and I want to. If I had a place to turn in my resignation letter, I would. I'm tired. This has been one helluva a long hard ride. I'm going to bed."
And I did.
Two hours later, I woke up, and to tell you the truth, I feel battered and sore. Physically I even ache.
"Okay, God, talk to me. I'm not a quitter, and I refuse to just keep taking hits, so give me something. How do I stand in the midst of this assault?"
As I was praying, I received an email asking about my daughter's doctor's appointment.
"Doozy of a headcold, bronchitis closing up her chest. Breathing treatments, nasal spray steroid, antihistamine, decongestant, ibuprofen, water, steam showers, and the usual. As for Friday's audition--"
I stopped. Another missile hit. One audition since my mom died in October, and she has to be sick for this one? Really?
I went back into the message and typed in, "Thankfully, the earache is pressure not infection."
Thankfully....
Thankfully.
Thankfully...
1009. We are able to see a doctor when we need to.
1010. We have clean water for her to drink.
1011. I know God is bigger than this.
1012. God hears my pleas and never says I am stupid for not seeing the obvious answer...of giving thanks.
1013. Medical readily available to us.
1014. Long sleeps that are much needed.
1015. Geometry help. (Dear God, when I have to repent for hatred, does that include hatred for geometry? If so, I may really have a problem.)
1016. Finding SIX (not four!) years of pictures.
1017. Help with electronics when I get overwhelmed.
1018. Anna's funky hair color.
1019. Other people who have trigger music, too, and understand how one can go from fine to an emotional heap in just four notes of the wrong song
1020. A way groovy foreman on the crew working on our road
1021. That my truck did not just sit stuck in the mud this morning but by God's grace slid to the "solid" spot and could get traction to go out the other way (deep spiritual truth in that, Lord)
1022. A place to retaliate, to stand against the assault, to refuse to quit
1023. For emails from MaryB that are exact words from God. I read the email and thought, "Wonder if God pipes." He answered, every time Mary does, I'm right with her either playing along or just listening tapping my toe. It's good stuff." Yes, it is.
1024. The precious folks who ask, "How did it go?" because they have been waiting and really want to know. I love you more than I have words to say.
Indeed, God in heaven...thankfully....
And the next thing I knew I was the target of significant enemy fire. I won't go into all the details, but it was so personal and so clearly a targeted offensive that a song I had just told someone earlier today still rips at my heart came on while I was sitting at dinner with my children. I haven't heard the song on the radio in MONTHS, maybe since before Christmas, and today, I mention the flood of memories and hurt it creates, and BAM! There it is on the radio in a public place where I can't change the channel, and the other hits were just as personal, just as deep, and just as hard.
I stood in front of God and said, "I just told these people not to quit, and I want to. If I had a place to turn in my resignation letter, I would. I'm tired. This has been one helluva a long hard ride. I'm going to bed."
And I did.
Two hours later, I woke up, and to tell you the truth, I feel battered and sore. Physically I even ache.
"Okay, God, talk to me. I'm not a quitter, and I refuse to just keep taking hits, so give me something. How do I stand in the midst of this assault?"
As I was praying, I received an email asking about my daughter's doctor's appointment.
"Doozy of a headcold, bronchitis closing up her chest. Breathing treatments, nasal spray steroid, antihistamine, decongestant, ibuprofen, water, steam showers, and the usual. As for Friday's audition--"
I stopped. Another missile hit. One audition since my mom died in October, and she has to be sick for this one? Really?
I went back into the message and typed in, "Thankfully, the earache is pressure not infection."
Thankfully....
Thankfully.
Thankfully...
1009. We are able to see a doctor when we need to.
1010. We have clean water for her to drink.
1011. I know God is bigger than this.
1012. God hears my pleas and never says I am stupid for not seeing the obvious answer...of giving thanks.
1013. Medical readily available to us.
1014. Long sleeps that are much needed.
1015. Geometry help. (Dear God, when I have to repent for hatred, does that include hatred for geometry? If so, I may really have a problem.)
1016. Finding SIX (not four!) years of pictures.
1017. Help with electronics when I get overwhelmed.
1018. Anna's funky hair color.
1019. Other people who have trigger music, too, and understand how one can go from fine to an emotional heap in just four notes of the wrong song
1020. A way groovy foreman on the crew working on our road
1021. That my truck did not just sit stuck in the mud this morning but by God's grace slid to the "solid" spot and could get traction to go out the other way (deep spiritual truth in that, Lord)
1022. A place to retaliate, to stand against the assault, to refuse to quit
1023. For emails from MaryB that are exact words from God. I read the email and thought, "Wonder if God pipes." He answered, every time Mary does, I'm right with her either playing along or just listening tapping my toe. It's good stuff." Yes, it is.
1024. The precious folks who ask, "How did it go?" because they have been waiting and really want to know. I love you more than I have words to say.
1025. FOR EVERYONE WHO DID NOT QUIT TODAY
Indeed, God in heaven...thankfully....
Tuesday, May 17, 2011
Gratitude 41--Thankful Again
"Is this ever going to get better?"
It's a question I've asked dozens of times in the last year. Once again yesterday morning the words tumbled from my mouth. It had been a rough two weeks when getting on top of the pain and confusion had taken more effort than usual and the "ups" weren't nearly as up as I had hoped, and they had not lasted very long.
I stared at Ann Voskamp's book on my coffee table. One Thousand Gifts. I had not made it to a thousand, and I couldn't remember when I had blogged about my gratitidue. In the last six months there had been so much pain and loss, and my gratitude was over such insignificant things such as hitting the green light when I was running later than I had intended or thanking God that dishes left in the sink did not make the world come to a halt. Petty things. Nobody really wanted to hear those.
But, they were my life preservers. They were the things that kept my head above water when I felt like everything else was caving down. They were...important to me.
The house got to hopping, and the thoughts were lost.
This morning I woke up to an email from a precious new friend a world away.
I considered the prison I had been in, the one I struggled with for 19 years, and the key God was giving me out, the powerful message He was sending, not just for the struggle of the last two weeks but the truth of a lifetime.
An hour later my friend Lisa sent me an email telling me what the Lord spoke to her when she prayed for me yesterday.
"Jerri, do you get how much I am reaching in or how much I want to get you out? Grab hold of me. I am the answer."
I get it, Lord.
Thank you...for reaching in...for not letting go...for being here...now...with me...
And thank you for...
961. Anna's creativity--the newly decorated guest room is stunning
962. The ability to paint and redo the guest room
963. Robert's piano playing....my word...
964. Tracy...a world away but so close to Your heart whose courage to share Your word with me blesses me more than words can say
965. 111
966. Sweet texts that give me a smile...especially right before I go to sleep
967. Brian Hearn, who always sees the anointed side of me
968. Painting with a Twist
969. Vanesa Stenberg...I could write a novel
970. A good night's sleep
971. Scott helping with the ceiling fan
972. Rae and her huge heart
973. Facebook
974. Tina Cox and the others at my insurance company
975. Val Roach, who sees and understands and has incredible patience
976. Lisa Buffaloe, who calls from Idaho because she can't sit with me here
977. Snipers
978. Amelia the Brave, who likes the same things I do
979. Morning moments with Robert
980. Mowing yards
981. Karaoke
982. Forney Fire Department
983. Forney Wallgreens
984. The Cavalry
985. A new book
986. Confirmation
987. Giving thanks
988. Ann Voskamp
989. Coffee with sugar
990. Sharilyn reminding me that healing is in progress, stay on the trail
991. Wendy and friend love. Really.
992. John--NP0s, C-collars, non-rebreather masks, and re-inflating my ego
993. Anna's signature--"Singer, Actress, and All Around People Lover (That means YOU)"
994. Danny and Paige Granberry and the light being on for us
995. LDS church teaching people to serve and being the feet and hands of Jesus...even to those not in their church
996. Men's groups who trim limbs and fix floors
997. A REALLY GREAT DAY
998. Lori Moore and her prophetic encouragement
999. Being a blessing
1000. Being "a saint"
1001. Kenneth and Joy Jordan
1002. Texts from Kenneth
Me: We had a really great day.
Kenneth: *clinches fist with arm outstretched then pulls to his side* YESSS!
1003. Temperatures in the 60s
1004. Learning the in the hard places
1005. A good van
1006. Text messaging
1007. Emails from all over the world
1008. Infinite gifts
And thank you for sharing and rejoicing with me.
Blessings to you as you enjoy YOUR gifts.
It's a question I've asked dozens of times in the last year. Once again yesterday morning the words tumbled from my mouth. It had been a rough two weeks when getting on top of the pain and confusion had taken more effort than usual and the "ups" weren't nearly as up as I had hoped, and they had not lasted very long.
I stared at Ann Voskamp's book on my coffee table. One Thousand Gifts. I had not made it to a thousand, and I couldn't remember when I had blogged about my gratitidue. In the last six months there had been so much pain and loss, and my gratitude was over such insignificant things such as hitting the green light when I was running later than I had intended or thanking God that dishes left in the sink did not make the world come to a halt. Petty things. Nobody really wanted to hear those.
But, they were my life preservers. They were the things that kept my head above water when I felt like everything else was caving down. They were...important to me.
The house got to hopping, and the thoughts were lost.
This morning I woke up to an email from a precious new friend a world away.
Hi JerriI woke up this morning thinking about you and God gave me a picture. So, here goes: I woke up and started praying for you and God gave me a picture of Paul and Silas in prison. Although the bible doesn't fill the story out you could imagine them thinking about the unfairness of it and wondering why? how? where is God in this? But the bible doesn't say that. It says that they sang praises to God and miraculously the prison door burst open and they were set free.I feel God is saying you are in a prison of emotional hurt and pain brought on by all you have been going through. He wants you to sing praise to Him and not ask why? What have I done to deserve this? how long? where is all the support? He wants you to praise Him and HE will miraculously break open that prison door. It doesn't say in the bible how long they were in prison before the doors broke open. Thats the tough bit. Its also not a logical solution according to the world. But in faith, Jerri, despite what you feel, by an act of your will, start doing it, even if you don't feel like it.
Praise Him.
Confirmation from a world away.
And a reminder...and a love note.
"Jerri, I so want you out of this dark place that I am telling you again. The key is praise. I'm not condemning you for forgetting. I know the darkness can obscure the light, so I'm sending the answer again because I want you free. I want you out of the prison. I'm fighting for you...reaching out to you...in this with you."
Wow.
An hour later my friend Lisa sent me an email telling me what the Lord spoke to her when she prayed for me yesterday.
"I keep thinking about Paul and Silas..."I laughed out loud.
"Jerri, do you get how much I am reaching in or how much I want to get you out? Grab hold of me. I am the answer."
I get it, Lord.
Thank you...for reaching in...for not letting go...for being here...now...with me...
And thank you for...
961. Anna's creativity--the newly decorated guest room is stunning
962. The ability to paint and redo the guest room
963. Robert's piano playing....my word...
964. Tracy...a world away but so close to Your heart whose courage to share Your word with me blesses me more than words can say
965. 111
966. Sweet texts that give me a smile...especially right before I go to sleep
967. Brian Hearn, who always sees the anointed side of me
968. Painting with a Twist
969. Vanesa Stenberg...I could write a novel
970. A good night's sleep
971. Scott helping with the ceiling fan
972. Rae and her huge heart
973. Facebook
974. Tina Cox and the others at my insurance company
975. Val Roach, who sees and understands and has incredible patience
976. Lisa Buffaloe, who calls from Idaho because she can't sit with me here
977. Snipers
978. Amelia the Brave, who likes the same things I do
979. Morning moments with Robert
980. Mowing yards
981. Karaoke
982. Forney Fire Department
983. Forney Wallgreens
984. The Cavalry
985. A new book
986. Confirmation
987. Giving thanks
988. Ann Voskamp
989. Coffee with sugar
990. Sharilyn reminding me that healing is in progress, stay on the trail
991. Wendy and friend love. Really.
992. John--NP0s, C-collars, non-rebreather masks, and re-inflating my ego
993. Anna's signature--"Singer, Actress, and All Around People Lover (That means YOU)"
994. Danny and Paige Granberry and the light being on for us
995. LDS church teaching people to serve and being the feet and hands of Jesus...even to those not in their church
996. Men's groups who trim limbs and fix floors
997. A REALLY GREAT DAY
998. Lori Moore and her prophetic encouragement
999. Being a blessing
1000. Being "a saint"
1001. Kenneth and Joy Jordan
1002. Texts from Kenneth
Me: We had a really great day.
Kenneth: *clinches fist with arm outstretched then pulls to his side* YESSS!
1003. Temperatures in the 60s
1004. Learning the in the hard places
1005. A good van
1006. Text messaging
1007. Emails from all over the world
1008. Infinite gifts
And thank you for sharing and rejoicing with me.
Blessings to you as you enjoy YOUR gifts.
Tuesday, November 9, 2010
Gratitude 40--Belonging
This year the holidays feel daunting. Both of my parents are gone now. My brother wants to be by himself, and Rob and I are still separated. Frankly, it is easy to feel like I have no where to belong, except the people I know make it so clear that I do...and for them and what they do...I am grateful...
With deep gratitude for...
951. Snoopy and the Red Baron
952. Help with the garage
953. Texts really early in the morning to see if I am okay
954. Invitations to movies
955. Sitting in the floor and talking while bathroom remodeling goes on around me
956. A gathering of friends...in person...and via speaker phone.
957. A place to cry...and laugh...and sigh deeply because...
958. A place to land
959. Comfy couches with warm blankets and Chinese food
960. Adirondike chairs in the yard while oil is changed in the driveway, laughing about (and with) the mechanics, and being warm inside...even when it is cold outside...
...I thank God at every remembrance of you...Philippians 1:3
With deep gratitude for...
951. Snoopy and the Red Baron
952. Help with the garage
953. Texts really early in the morning to see if I am okay
954. Invitations to movies
955. Sitting in the floor and talking while bathroom remodeling goes on around me
956. A gathering of friends...in person...and via speaker phone.
957. A place to cry...and laugh...and sigh deeply because...
958. A place to land
959. Comfy couches with warm blankets and Chinese food
960. Adirondike chairs in the yard while oil is changed in the driveway, laughing about (and with) the mechanics, and being warm inside...even when it is cold outside...
...I thank God at every remembrance of you...Philippians 1:3
Monday, November 8, 2010
Gratitude 39--Giving Thanks, November 2010
It has been a long time since I typed in a list of thanks...although my heart has been grateful for many things these last several months. I'll share more as time goes on, but for now...for these people and blessings...I am deeply grateful...
931. For my amazing children
932. For my CERT class, what I've learning...but more with whom I learning it.
933. Hard seasons that let the unncessary stuff die to make room for the good stuff to live.
934. Dena K. Walts, who thinks I am an answer and have something to give.
935. Raymon K. "Buck" Kelley, the perfect substitute dad in a season when "home" wasn't
936. Brian Hearn, who tells me I am worth the effort
937. Lisa Buffaloe, Christine Thomas, and Lori Freeland, who reply ASAP to joyfully and excitedly be references for my resume
938. Kevin Zuniga, with a heart of God
939. Pop Shires, who finds the heating element for my dryer in less than 48 hours, picks it up, and brings it to my house
940. Chris, who teaches me how to change out the heating element
941. Al, who offers to helpd cover costs for my mission trip next summer
942. Rob for helping with the resume and garage.
943. Leslie, who keeps me in her heart
944. Eryn Gruwell, who did her job with excellence and impacted the lives of her students...and us
945. CERT board, for seeing my potential
946. Val Roach, for always checking
947. Melanie Curl, for caring and noticing
948. Christmas ornaments for soldiers
949. CPT Ramona, former Army, for keeping us in the loop with soldiers to support
950. Contented smiles
5.
931. For my amazing children
932. For my CERT class, what I've learning...but more with whom I learning it.
933. Hard seasons that let the unncessary stuff die to make room for the good stuff to live.
934. Dena K. Walts, who thinks I am an answer and have something to give.
935. Raymon K. "Buck" Kelley, the perfect substitute dad in a season when "home" wasn't
936. Brian Hearn, who tells me I am worth the effort
937. Lisa Buffaloe, Christine Thomas, and Lori Freeland, who reply ASAP to joyfully and excitedly be references for my resume
938. Kevin Zuniga, with a heart of God
939. Pop Shires, who finds the heating element for my dryer in less than 48 hours, picks it up, and brings it to my house
940. Chris, who teaches me how to change out the heating element
941. Al, who offers to helpd cover costs for my mission trip next summer
942. Rob for helping with the resume and garage.
943. Leslie, who keeps me in her heart
944. Eryn Gruwell, who did her job with excellence and impacted the lives of her students...and us
945. CERT board, for seeing my potential
946. Val Roach, for always checking
947. Melanie Curl, for caring and noticing
948. Christmas ornaments for soldiers
949. CPT Ramona, former Army, for keeping us in the loop with soldiers to support
950. Contented smiles
5.
Monday, June 14, 2010
Gratitude 38--When It Storms
Seven days...a universe is formed...a God proves His power...proves His willingness and ability to provide...
Seven days...in my life...He proves it all again...
916. Wonder Boy is in wonder as he sorts through his treasure trove of Legos...and he is thankful Ms. Vanessa was patient with the lost phone we couldn't answer...the slow timing of the day...
922. The road home
928. Doctors who do stress tests because something "seems wrong"
Seven days...in my life...He proves it all again...
916. Wonder Boy is in wonder as he sorts through his treasure trove of Legos...and he is thankful Ms. Vanessa was patient with the lost phone we couldn't answer...the slow timing of the day...
917. Finally finding the source of the smell...a rusted pipe easy to fix...
918. Carpet that easily pulls away so the soggy pad can dry...
919. Fans that keep air moving
920. A strong man in the house who could handle the rearranging of the bedroom.
921. Yellow fingernail polish, a missing Pet Shop, flashlight with batteries still powered...wonders lost and found...under the bed
922. The road home
923. Enough room to miss the pickup who wanted my lane...while I was occupying it
924. Brakes that were damaged but not broken when I avoided the embankment
925. Mechanics we can trust
926. Places to sleep that are not our bedroom...where tired and sick bodies rest close and comforted
927. The privilege of being a mom...especially when they really need one...
928. Doctors who do stress tests because something "seems wrong"
929. Surgical procedures that allow my dad to be alive and healthy longer.
930. Rest...when...
...the leak is fixed
...the carpet and pad are dry
...temperatures have returned to normal
...the van sits in our driveway again
...and the storm has subsided
Monday, June 7, 2010
Gratitude 37--Celebrating a Father's Daughter
It isn't an easy day for her today, not because the calendar turns another year older but because this is the first birthday her dad did not give her a call first thing. He went to be with Jesus last fall, and today, the hole in her heart gapes big, and the tears fall hot. And today, I want to put my arms around her and hold her and somehow make it better, but really, there is nothing I can do but hand tissues...
...Except to honor the man who is gone by celebrating the daughter he left behind...
In counting the gift that is Rae...
901. She laughs deep, and it echoes...in rooms, in hearts.
902. Her door is open...to the homeless, to the hopeless, to anyone needing refuge.
903. There is always a cup of coffee
904. Whole body hugs...that hold on until you are okay to let go
905. Her words of honor and love for her husband
906. Her fierce devotion to friends
907. The odd things she finds funny...the same ones as me
908. If she has it and you need it, it's yours
909. The way she rolls with things
910. The mom she chose to be
Did I mention her laughter? :-)
911. Her phone that is on all hours, even when she is tired
912. Potato Salad
913. Learning to swim together at a lake in the country...I'd be terrified if my children did what we did
914. Faith talks
915. Her deep love, which hurts her now, but blesses those blessed to receive it.
The greatest gift is not in who she is...or what she has...but in how easily she gives herself away...
Happy Birthday, Rae! I love you!!!
...Except to honor the man who is gone by celebrating the daughter he left behind...
In counting the gift that is Rae...
901. She laughs deep, and it echoes...in rooms, in hearts.
902. Her door is open...to the homeless, to the hopeless, to anyone needing refuge.
903. There is always a cup of coffee
904. Whole body hugs...that hold on until you are okay to let go
905. Her words of honor and love for her husband
906. Her fierce devotion to friends
907. The odd things she finds funny...the same ones as me
908. If she has it and you need it, it's yours
909. The way she rolls with things
910. The mom she chose to be
Did I mention her laughter? :-)
911. Her phone that is on all hours, even when she is tired
912. Potato Salad
913. Learning to swim together at a lake in the country...I'd be terrified if my children did what we did
914. Faith talks
915. Her deep love, which hurts her now, but blesses those blessed to receive it.
The greatest gift is not in who she is...or what she has...but in how easily she gives herself away...
Happy Birthday, Rae! I love you!!!
Monday, May 31, 2010
Gratitude 36--When I Can't Remember
"Friends are the people who, when you forget your heart song, sing it back to you so you can remember."
Or so some say.
My friends are more than that.
They are treasure keepers, and I am blessed to be treasured by them.
They do more than sing a song to me in hopes of jogging my memory when the roller coaster of life leaves me lightheaded. These people are not a bunch of high-heeled tea sippers happy to chat along while I pick up the lunch check. These are people who plaster pictures of me in my heart, mind, and soul when life pain and too big mountains leave me with identity loss. These are people who do not say, "Call me if you need me," but show up at my door and scream, "I know you're in there. Don't make me break this thing down to get to you." And...believe me...they would. They have.
I love them...and I am amazed at how much they love me.
And, "Thank you," will never touch my gratitude.
882. Friend of 20 odd years, unafraid of hard questions, still seeing amazing even when I've forgotten.
883. Understanding instant messages can provide enough cover to slowly be found
884. Patience when the bars keep dropping out down in the Hill Country
885. 4:00 am, "Are you sure you're okay? If not, we can talk some more."
886. A bottle of wine and talking like we were in college
887. Holding on when I can barely even stand up
888. "...wonderful...even now..."
889. The daily dose of laughter because it's good medicine.
890. Dunked Oreos
891. Freshly created songs sung not so on key
892. Calm in the midst of the chaos
893. Not being shocked
894. Follow-up calls the next day..."just to check on you"
895. Believing in the whole picture
896. An hour and a half of looking for Wifi that actually worked because some emails are really important
897. Long hugs
898. Road trip therapy
899. "It's about standing in your hair color."
900. Hummingbirds
Or so some say.
My friends are more than that.
They are treasure keepers, and I am blessed to be treasured by them.
They do more than sing a song to me in hopes of jogging my memory when the roller coaster of life leaves me lightheaded. These people are not a bunch of high-heeled tea sippers happy to chat along while I pick up the lunch check. These are people who plaster pictures of me in my heart, mind, and soul when life pain and too big mountains leave me with identity loss. These are people who do not say, "Call me if you need me," but show up at my door and scream, "I know you're in there. Don't make me break this thing down to get to you." And...believe me...they would. They have.
I love them...and I am amazed at how much they love me.
And, "Thank you," will never touch my gratitude.
882. Friend of 20 odd years, unafraid of hard questions, still seeing amazing even when I've forgotten.
883. Understanding instant messages can provide enough cover to slowly be found
884. Patience when the bars keep dropping out down in the Hill Country
885. 4:00 am, "Are you sure you're okay? If not, we can talk some more."
886. A bottle of wine and talking like we were in college
887. Holding on when I can barely even stand up
888. "...wonderful...even now..."
889. The daily dose of laughter because it's good medicine.
890. Dunked Oreos
891. Freshly created songs sung not so on key
892. Calm in the midst of the chaos
893. Not being shocked
894. Follow-up calls the next day..."just to check on you"
895. Believing in the whole picture
896. An hour and a half of looking for Wifi that actually worked because some emails are really important
897. Long hugs
898. Road trip therapy
899. "It's about standing in your hair color."
900. Hummingbirds
Monday, May 24, 2010
Gratitude 35--Friends and Neighbors
I am not going to put up a brave facade today. Last week was a hard week. I spent it in deep pain, with a lot of questions, and on the mental and emotional edge. I never felt abandoned by God, but it is because He made Himself so obvious in people around me, and I am so grateful for those people who let Him speak through them--not only in words but in their lives that they live everyday.
I am grateful for...
862. A neighbor who would run into a burning home to save others.
863. A new friend who opened her home to an elderly couple with no place to go.
864. A small army of neighbors who stepped up to salvage pieces of lives, protect what was left, and rebuild what was lost.
865. the Man of my Dreams who made multiple trips to the grocery store to supply dinner for people who thought of everyone but themselves.
866. My friend Lisa, who cheered when I sent off another article to be considered by a "big publisher"
867. My friend Paula, who worked found submission information and helped me with a query letter to send off another article
868. Those who believe God is blessing others through me, which feels unimaginable at times.
869. Molly, the Heeler/terrier mix, that honored me by bringing me her ball to play a great game of fetch
870. Debra, Molly's "mom", who talked dogs, toys, and training. Camping folks are some of the friendliest anyway, and Debra certainly gives them a great name.
871. Sarah, a friend for a little boy trying to figure out how he fit into camping when "relaxing" does not include sitting around doing nothing
872. Grandma, who helped Anna try to get the fish in, and fought valiantly, until the line snapped. We lost the bait, hook, and bobber, but Anna got a memory and a smile that was worth it.
873. My brother, who is just cool
874. Sharilyn...for being more of a blessing than this writer has words to say.
875. Friends who sit around and hang out for a few hours talking, processing, deccompressing, and laughing. I didn't know how tense I was until I'd been around y'all a few hours, my muscles relaxed, and I ached all over. LOL!!!
876. The two most amazing children in the world.
877. Teenagers that make me excited about what their generation is going to accomplish. Jordan and Oakley, y'all rock!
878. Prayer team captains that bless, listen, and encourage. I have the best!
879. Prayer team members that ask the right questions and say the right things at the perfectly right time to let me know God is hearing, God is working, and God is not looking for a backup plan.
880. Shaleen, who drove over an hour and a half to help adopted "neighbors" when they were in need.
881. Bilal, the Man of my Dreams' trainer, who is not only a positive force during class, but calls to check in when Rob misses classes, is truly concerned for Rob's health, and is available to make help in any way possible to see our family be healthy. I don't know that he'll ever know how much that 15 minute conversation meant to me.
I am sure there are more that just have slipped my mind at this moment, and I might add them throughout the day...or week. Looking back over the last week, these are the people who have been healing balm to my heart, a hand to hold me up, and Jesus in front of my face. They are amazing people, and I thank God for every single one of them. I pray you have people like this in your life, too.
I am grateful for...
862. A neighbor who would run into a burning home to save others.
863. A new friend who opened her home to an elderly couple with no place to go.
864. A small army of neighbors who stepped up to salvage pieces of lives, protect what was left, and rebuild what was lost.
865. the Man of my Dreams who made multiple trips to the grocery store to supply dinner for people who thought of everyone but themselves.
866. My friend Lisa, who cheered when I sent off another article to be considered by a "big publisher"
867. My friend Paula, who worked found submission information and helped me with a query letter to send off another article
868. Those who believe God is blessing others through me, which feels unimaginable at times.
869. Molly, the Heeler/terrier mix, that honored me by bringing me her ball to play a great game of fetch
870. Debra, Molly's "mom", who talked dogs, toys, and training. Camping folks are some of the friendliest anyway, and Debra certainly gives them a great name.
871. Sarah, a friend for a little boy trying to figure out how he fit into camping when "relaxing" does not include sitting around doing nothing
872. Grandma, who helped Anna try to get the fish in, and fought valiantly, until the line snapped. We lost the bait, hook, and bobber, but Anna got a memory and a smile that was worth it.
873. My brother, who is just cool
874. Sharilyn...for being more of a blessing than this writer has words to say.
875. Friends who sit around and hang out for a few hours talking, processing, deccompressing, and laughing. I didn't know how tense I was until I'd been around y'all a few hours, my muscles relaxed, and I ached all over. LOL!!!
876. The two most amazing children in the world.
877. Teenagers that make me excited about what their generation is going to accomplish. Jordan and Oakley, y'all rock!
878. Prayer team captains that bless, listen, and encourage. I have the best!
879. Prayer team members that ask the right questions and say the right things at the perfectly right time to let me know God is hearing, God is working, and God is not looking for a backup plan.
880. Shaleen, who drove over an hour and a half to help adopted "neighbors" when they were in need.
881. Bilal, the Man of my Dreams' trainer, who is not only a positive force during class, but calls to check in when Rob misses classes, is truly concerned for Rob's health, and is available to make help in any way possible to see our family be healthy. I don't know that he'll ever know how much that 15 minute conversation meant to me.
I am sure there are more that just have slipped my mind at this moment, and I might add them throughout the day...or week. Looking back over the last week, these are the people who have been healing balm to my heart, a hand to hold me up, and Jesus in front of my face. They are amazing people, and I thank God for every single one of them. I pray you have people like this in your life, too.
Monday, April 26, 2010
Gratitude 34--For Walking
As some of you may remember, last year my daughter and I joined an amazing group of people to participate in Relay for Life. It was one of the most incredible experiences of my life.
This year we did not walk, but it was a great honor to give the welcome and invocation for the Survivor Dinner. I have no words to describe the feeling of standing in front of all those survivors and caregivers and looking at the sea of beautiful faces...except thank you for letting me part of your celebration. You are amazing heroes. Thank you.
Last year I was grateful for Relay for Life. I am no less so this year. In fact, maybe now I am even more thankful because now I understand better.
851. For the vessel(s) that started Relay for Life, thank you for having a vision as big as a cure.
852. For Wylie Women's League who did an amazing Survivor Dinner and works so hard to raise money and support the event
853. For the army of young volunteers--If anyone thinks the next generation is a bunch of lost and hopeless adolescents, you need to watch this group in action. Wow!
854. Donated food, prizes, and other supplies
855. Good weather
856. Stadiums all around the US that open their fields and grounds to Relay for Life so people can walk for a purpose.
857. Those who donate money, you are making a difference.
858. For a "cancer free" report for Kipp Gremillion, Rob's step-brother
859. Prayers, prayers, and more prayers
860. For those who keep on walking...
at Relay for Life...
in memory...
in honor...
with hope...
to the chemo treatments...
to sit in waiting rooms and patients' rooms...
to carry meals to those who need them...
because quitting isn't an option...
for a cure...
861. For a God who is the cure. Lord, release the knowledge to your vessels that cancer may be defeated on this earth.
This year we did not walk, but it was a great honor to give the welcome and invocation for the Survivor Dinner. I have no words to describe the feeling of standing in front of all those survivors and caregivers and looking at the sea of beautiful faces...except thank you for letting me part of your celebration. You are amazing heroes. Thank you.
Last year I was grateful for Relay for Life. I am no less so this year. In fact, maybe now I am even more thankful because now I understand better.
851. For the vessel(s) that started Relay for Life, thank you for having a vision as big as a cure.
852. For Wylie Women's League who did an amazing Survivor Dinner and works so hard to raise money and support the event
853. For the army of young volunteers--If anyone thinks the next generation is a bunch of lost and hopeless adolescents, you need to watch this group in action. Wow!
854. Donated food, prizes, and other supplies
855. Good weather
856. Stadiums all around the US that open their fields and grounds to Relay for Life so people can walk for a purpose.
857. Those who donate money, you are making a difference.
858. For a "cancer free" report for Kipp Gremillion, Rob's step-brother
859. Prayers, prayers, and more prayers
860. For those who keep on walking...
at Relay for Life...
in memory...
in honor...
with hope...
to the chemo treatments...
to sit in waiting rooms and patients' rooms...
to carry meals to those who need them...
because quitting isn't an option...
for a cure...
861. For a God who is the cure. Lord, release the knowledge to your vessels that cancer may be defeated on this earth.
Monday, April 19, 2010
Gratitude 33--Out and About and Home Again
Some days--some weeks--leave me in quiet awe. This has been one of those weeks, and I am so grateful.
819. Daughter who finds passion in setting others free
820. Daughter's fearless evangelism that leads a young woman to the amazing love of Christ
821. Husband who takes daughter to Austin to learn the political process, the leading and growing of a godly nation
822. A job that allows Wonder Man to be involved in out of town activities with the children
823. Time with the Wonder Boy, game playing, art doing, movie watching...heart learning
824. Too quiet rooms filled with children returned home
825. Ice cream for upset tummies
826. Hot chocolate for sore throats
827. Long drives and deep talks
828. Couches with recliners on each end where mending bodies can rest and recoop
829. Curling up close and just being
839. Cake recipes, rich in chocolate
840. Husbands who diagnose broken computer batteries
841. Warranties
842. Plungers when necessary
843. Washing machines that work even at midnight
844. New socks for Wonder Boy
845. Rain...so needed...so appreciated
846. Youth leaders that bless, encourage, and nurture tender hearts
847. Friends who believe I can do things that feel bigger than I ever dreamed of being
848. Long talks with friends, planning and dreaming
849. Conferences in the making, hearts valued and precious
850. Beloved Ann, believing in grace, rejoicing in freedom
819. Daughter who finds passion in setting others free
820. Daughter's fearless evangelism that leads a young woman to the amazing love of Christ
821. Husband who takes daughter to Austin to learn the political process, the leading and growing of a godly nation
822. A job that allows Wonder Man to be involved in out of town activities with the children
823. Time with the Wonder Boy, game playing, art doing, movie watching...heart learning
824. Too quiet rooms filled with children returned home
825. Ice cream for upset tummies
826. Hot chocolate for sore throats
827. Long drives and deep talks
828. Couches with recliners on each end where mending bodies can rest and recoop
829. Curling up close and just being
839. Cake recipes, rich in chocolate
840. Husbands who diagnose broken computer batteries
841. Warranties
842. Plungers when necessary
843. Washing machines that work even at midnight
844. New socks for Wonder Boy
845. Rain...so needed...so appreciated
846. Youth leaders that bless, encourage, and nurture tender hearts
847. Friends who believe I can do things that feel bigger than I ever dreamed of being
848. Long talks with friends, planning and dreaming
849. Conferences in the making, hearts valued and precious
850. Beloved Ann, believing in grace, rejoicing in freedom
Monday, April 12, 2010
Gratitude 32--The Basics
My temp is up, my face is pale, and my stomach is aggitated. The virus my daughter hosted last night has come to visit me today. I am annoyed and, at various times throughout the day, on the verge of tears.
I hate being sick. First of all, I feel like a failure. If I were truly a woman of faith, I'd have authority over this illness, and it would be banished before Anna's temp ever went over 99 degrees. If I were a real woman, I wouldn't let this annoying thing keep me supine on the couch. I'd just push through, get stuff done, and laugh in victory.
However, my temp is over 99, and the bug is still here, and frankly, if I don't lie supine on the couch, my face goes from pale to green.
Second, I had plans. The children and I were going to clear the part of the yard where we are putting in a flowerbed. We soaked the water last night so the roots would be easy to pull up. The ground is ready. Then tonight, I was finally going to have another tennis lesson. I haven't had one in a month because of a variety of things, and I was so excited...then I had to cancel.
Then, in the midst of my near-tears pity party, a prayer I've prayed many times came back to mind.
"Lord, I don't ever want to be your spoiled child who is ungrateful for what you give just because I didn't get exactly what I want."
I'm upset because I didn't get to prepare the ground for the flowerbeds. There are people who never get to see a flower either because their physical eyes are damaged or because their lives are barren. We can prepare the ground in a few days. Will others suddenly have the ability to see then? Will their lives suddenly be filled with color?
I whine about not hitting a tennis ball when there are people today who have no use of their hands, who cannot stand up, who struggle to remember the word "ball". Today I was able to work on laundry, help with schoolwork, and iron pants. Tomorrow will hands be regrown? Will legs grow strong? Will the mind become firm?
Oh, God...have mercy on my self-centered existence. Forgive me for focusing on the unimportant things that can be done later...or not done at all...and no one's world will be the better or worse. Thank you for reminding me that while I am blessed with many frills in life, there are those who would be so thankful for the "basics". And I am grateful, too.
Thank you, Lord.
802. My hands can hold a ball, type on the keyboard, hold my husband's hand, and wipe away my children's tears.
803. My body fights viruses on its own.
804. Our yard is green, even if it is mostly weeds right now.
805. For amazing children who bless me with peaceful naps when my body needs them
806. That you've never called me a failure.
807. Faith is a journey, and I am learning and growing as I go.
808. Grace covers me when I don't perform as well as I wish.
809. Austin, tennis coach extradinaire, who is the epitome of patience and grace
810. Coaches that are soft for my body.
811. Fred, our Lab-experiment, who wags his tale when I pat him, even when my patting him is for my comfort.
812. Rob was the hero of the day cooking dinner so I didn't have to smell it.
813. Dry toast. Oh, Lord, thank you SO much for dry toast.
814. Ice cream.
815. Cool wash cloths.
816. I can walk to the couch on my own power, and if I want to get up, I can do that, too.
817. Lord, I love automatic washing machines and dryers. Oh, I love having them in my house so I don't have to go to a laundromat.
818. Thank you for asnwering my prayers, especially ones that stretch me and cause me to get out of myself. You are so faithful, and I am undone.
I hate being sick. First of all, I feel like a failure. If I were truly a woman of faith, I'd have authority over this illness, and it would be banished before Anna's temp ever went over 99 degrees. If I were a real woman, I wouldn't let this annoying thing keep me supine on the couch. I'd just push through, get stuff done, and laugh in victory.
However, my temp is over 99, and the bug is still here, and frankly, if I don't lie supine on the couch, my face goes from pale to green.
Second, I had plans. The children and I were going to clear the part of the yard where we are putting in a flowerbed. We soaked the water last night so the roots would be easy to pull up. The ground is ready. Then tonight, I was finally going to have another tennis lesson. I haven't had one in a month because of a variety of things, and I was so excited...then I had to cancel.
Then, in the midst of my near-tears pity party, a prayer I've prayed many times came back to mind.
"Lord, I don't ever want to be your spoiled child who is ungrateful for what you give just because I didn't get exactly what I want."
I'm upset because I didn't get to prepare the ground for the flowerbeds. There are people who never get to see a flower either because their physical eyes are damaged or because their lives are barren. We can prepare the ground in a few days. Will others suddenly have the ability to see then? Will their lives suddenly be filled with color?
I whine about not hitting a tennis ball when there are people today who have no use of their hands, who cannot stand up, who struggle to remember the word "ball". Today I was able to work on laundry, help with schoolwork, and iron pants. Tomorrow will hands be regrown? Will legs grow strong? Will the mind become firm?
Oh, God...have mercy on my self-centered existence. Forgive me for focusing on the unimportant things that can be done later...or not done at all...and no one's world will be the better or worse. Thank you for reminding me that while I am blessed with many frills in life, there are those who would be so thankful for the "basics". And I am grateful, too.
Thank you, Lord.
802. My hands can hold a ball, type on the keyboard, hold my husband's hand, and wipe away my children's tears.
803. My body fights viruses on its own.
804. Our yard is green, even if it is mostly weeds right now.
805. For amazing children who bless me with peaceful naps when my body needs them
806. That you've never called me a failure.
807. Faith is a journey, and I am learning and growing as I go.
808. Grace covers me when I don't perform as well as I wish.
809. Austin, tennis coach extradinaire, who is the epitome of patience and grace
810. Coaches that are soft for my body.
811. Fred, our Lab-experiment, who wags his tale when I pat him, even when my patting him is for my comfort.
812. Rob was the hero of the day cooking dinner so I didn't have to smell it.
813. Dry toast. Oh, Lord, thank you SO much for dry toast.
814. Ice cream.
815. Cool wash cloths.
816. I can walk to the couch on my own power, and if I want to get up, I can do that, too.
817. Lord, I love automatic washing machines and dryers. Oh, I love having them in my house so I don't have to go to a laundromat.
818. Thank you for asnwering my prayers, especially ones that stretch me and cause me to get out of myself. You are so faithful, and I am undone.
Monday, March 29, 2010
Gratitude 31--Life: Sacrificed, Provided, Eternal
Palm Sunday is an odd day for me. On one hand, I want to focus on Jesus. I want to meditate on the sacrifice of the perfect Lamb for me. I want to be in awe of the love that would give such an extravagant gift for one so undeserving.
However, my mind wanders. On Palm Sunday seven years ago, my dad went into the hospital...for the last time. He had been sick for some time. The last nine months had been very difficult. Multiple hospital stays, trips to the ER, and times of needing intense care spotted the calendar.
When I received the call from my mom that Dad was in the ER again and he was being admitted to the hospital, I went to be with them. I knew in my heart this was it. Our journey was done.
On Thursday of that week, my dad was released from the hospital. X-rays showed a mass, not pneumonia. A biopsy had been done, and we were waiting for the results.
We spent Easter with my parents. Dad sat in the sun, watched his small ground children hunt Lego blocks. In the wildness of the week, we never thought about eggs, so we improvised. He laughed a lot. I committed every moment to memory that I could. Treasures stored in the heart.
Late that afternoon, I took my children home. As much as I wanted to stay with Dad, I knew the little ones were tired and in need of rest.
In the late hours of Easter, Dad went home, too. As much as he wanted to stay with us, Jesus knew he was tired and in need of rest.
I suppose some might think my dad's passing on at Easter would diminish the day somehow, but on the contrary, it only makes it more special.
For me, Easter is not just about the salvation of my soul, although that is amazing beyond words. To me, Easter is about my dad breathing without struggling for air. It's about his being able to walk as far as he wants without chest pains, getting dizzy, or passing out.
Easter is about passing on the love of the Word my dad instilled in me to my children. Life continuing from generation to generation. It's morning coffee with the Dad of all time, sharing my heart, hearing His, and letting Him speak through me.
Easter is not just about what Jesus did 2000 years ago. It's about what He is doing now and what He wants to do.
It's life that changes sometimes in form, sometimes in place, but still goes on, and the hope that life can always be better here...and There.
And today I am filled with gratitude.
776. Jerry Dale Kelley--December 13, 1940 - April 21, 2003
777b. Top hats :-)
777. An empty tomb
778. Love that stayed on a cross
779. Doctors who do the best they can
780. Mercy
781. Breathing without pain
782. No oxygen tanks are needed in Heaven
783. Amazing medical staff
784. Lego "eggs"
785. Sunshine
786. Hope
787. Precious memories
788. Stories that still bring laughter
789. Provision beyond my ability to fathom
790. Laughter
791. Pictures and video
792. Life--here and There
793. Death--that makes me realize the power and blessing of life
794. Being able to tell people God is faithful, even when their hearts are broken
795. The Bible--The Greatest Love Story Ever Told
796. HUGE Easter Egg hunts at church
797. Matching dresses my mom made
798. Plastic eggs with a quarter in them
799. Dozens of boiled eggs dipped and colored turning from white orbs to rainbows
800. My grandma who didn't fuss about the Easter egg coloring mess
801. The reality of the resurrection in my life and my heart.
Yes, I stop and think about this week, what was done for me...what has been done IN me...the life given on a cross 2000 years ago so I can have life today and for eternity...and I am in awe...
However, my mind wanders. On Palm Sunday seven years ago, my dad went into the hospital...for the last time. He had been sick for some time. The last nine months had been very difficult. Multiple hospital stays, trips to the ER, and times of needing intense care spotted the calendar.
When I received the call from my mom that Dad was in the ER again and he was being admitted to the hospital, I went to be with them. I knew in my heart this was it. Our journey was done.
On Thursday of that week, my dad was released from the hospital. X-rays showed a mass, not pneumonia. A biopsy had been done, and we were waiting for the results.
We spent Easter with my parents. Dad sat in the sun, watched his small ground children hunt Lego blocks. In the wildness of the week, we never thought about eggs, so we improvised. He laughed a lot. I committed every moment to memory that I could. Treasures stored in the heart.
Late that afternoon, I took my children home. As much as I wanted to stay with Dad, I knew the little ones were tired and in need of rest.
In the late hours of Easter, Dad went home, too. As much as he wanted to stay with us, Jesus knew he was tired and in need of rest.
I suppose some might think my dad's passing on at Easter would diminish the day somehow, but on the contrary, it only makes it more special.
For me, Easter is not just about the salvation of my soul, although that is amazing beyond words. To me, Easter is about my dad breathing without struggling for air. It's about his being able to walk as far as he wants without chest pains, getting dizzy, or passing out.
Easter is about passing on the love of the Word my dad instilled in me to my children. Life continuing from generation to generation. It's morning coffee with the Dad of all time, sharing my heart, hearing His, and letting Him speak through me.
Easter is not just about what Jesus did 2000 years ago. It's about what He is doing now and what He wants to do.
It's life that changes sometimes in form, sometimes in place, but still goes on, and the hope that life can always be better here...and There.
And today I am filled with gratitude.
776. Jerry Dale Kelley--December 13, 1940 - April 21, 2003
777b. Top hats :-)
777. An empty tomb
778. Love that stayed on a cross
779. Doctors who do the best they can
780. Mercy
781. Breathing without pain
782. No oxygen tanks are needed in Heaven
783. Amazing medical staff
784. Lego "eggs"
785. Sunshine
786. Hope
787. Precious memories
788. Stories that still bring laughter
789. Provision beyond my ability to fathom
790. Laughter
791. Pictures and video
792. Life--here and There
793. Death--that makes me realize the power and blessing of life
794. Being able to tell people God is faithful, even when their hearts are broken
795. The Bible--The Greatest Love Story Ever Told
796. HUGE Easter Egg hunts at church
797. Matching dresses my mom made
798. Plastic eggs with a quarter in them
799. Dozens of boiled eggs dipped and colored turning from white orbs to rainbows
800. My grandma who didn't fuss about the Easter egg coloring mess
801. The reality of the resurrection in my life and my heart.
Yes, I stop and think about this week, what was done for me...what has been done IN me...the life given on a cross 2000 years ago so I can have life today and for eternity...and I am in awe...
Monday, March 22, 2010
Gratitude 30--Being Still, Being Thankful
Last week was a frenzy, but I thought I handled it well. Today makes last week look like a walk in the park. To say it's been crazy would be an understatement, and I refuse to go crazy, so I'm going to be thankful.
Thank you, Father, for:
751. Whispering the importance of being still
752. Sunshine to warm me through and through
753. Amazing children who are rolling with the demands of today
754. Two empty CDs
755. Wilson's driving here to pick up the filled CDs
756. Melissa--O! Lord, such a woman of grace to cover me...
757. Grace, grace, and more grace
758. A husband who keeps telling me I'm normal, this is normal, and it is okay
759. Take out...sigh...
760. Women of grace who bless me even when I say, "I can't..."
761. Deliverance from needing to always say yes...even when it is impossible, punishes my family, and isn't a work of excellence for you
762. Leftover birthday cake
763. Just enough milk...
764. That some folks know when, "I can't talk right now," is honest, and it isn't about them.
765. Another chance.
766. Promotion
767. Hoodies
768. Ephesians 3:20
769. That right now, you are doing more than I can dream or imagine
770. My children's laughter
771. Prayers of friends
772. Snuggle time in the big bed that calms my soul and reminds me of Your heart
773. Birds singing
774. Giving thanks in everything
775. The calm that has come from simply making this list.
Lord, you are so good to me. You are faithful beyond words, and you are my escape, my very breath. I love you!
Thank you, Father, for:
751. Whispering the importance of being still
752. Sunshine to warm me through and through
753. Amazing children who are rolling with the demands of today
754. Two empty CDs
755. Wilson's driving here to pick up the filled CDs
756. Melissa--O! Lord, such a woman of grace to cover me...
757. Grace, grace, and more grace
758. A husband who keeps telling me I'm normal, this is normal, and it is okay
759. Take out...sigh...
760. Women of grace who bless me even when I say, "I can't..."
761. Deliverance from needing to always say yes...even when it is impossible, punishes my family, and isn't a work of excellence for you
762. Leftover birthday cake
763. Just enough milk...
764. That some folks know when, "I can't talk right now," is honest, and it isn't about them.
765. Another chance.
766. Promotion
767. Hoodies
768. Ephesians 3:20
769. That right now, you are doing more than I can dream or imagine
770. My children's laughter
771. Prayers of friends
772. Snuggle time in the big bed that calms my soul and reminds me of Your heart
773. Birds singing
774. Giving thanks in everything
775. The calm that has come from simply making this list.
Lord, you are so good to me. You are faithful beyond words, and you are my escape, my very breath. I love you!
Monday, March 8, 2010
Gratitude 29--Rain and Shine
When life hands me both...
731. Sunshine warming and lively
732. Raised beds being filled
733. Menfolk working together
734. Blossoms exploding
735. Peaches in the promise stage
736. The wondrous smell of plum blossoms
737. Onions planted and ready to grow
738. Flowers with room to grow
739. A game of dominoes adding up to great family time
740. Chocolate covered strawberries, a misunderstood request but a delicious delight anyway
741. A new BBQ place to try
742. Rain--nurturing and calm
743. Hard conversations that bring willing hearts closer
744. Warm showers inside after a long walk in chilly showers outside
745. Boys curled up in blankets in unexpected places
746. Nurses giving advice about earaches when the doctor's office is closed
747. Decongestants relieving pressure from tender ears
748. Two swimsuits just her size
749. Sleep, restorative and blessed
750. His hand holding on, even in the hard places
Monday, March 1, 2010
Gratitude 28--Affirming "all the good of God in my life"
Today Ann Voskamp again delivered deep Truth and solid food. "When I affirm all the good of God in my life, I am the one affirmed."
Because I'm an affirmation junkie...
Thank you, Lord God, for:
704. Anthony Evans music...worshipful...keeping me at Your feet
705. Hotdogs on plain white bread
706. Waking up to the sound of rain
707. Tears of healing
708. Friends to help process
709. Finished first submissions
710. Towels to soak spilled water on carpet
711. Questions
712. Answers that lead me deeper into You
713. Answers that do not change who I am in You
714. Ann Voskamp with words of Truth that find me in my hiding place
715. Friends, decades old, seeing the new things God is doing
719. Journals where thoughts become words...and sense is made
720. The luxury of voting for our government leaders
721. A warm bed
722. Hair clips
723. Breath
724. Dry socks
725. Clean water
726. Lunch with wonderful children
727. Cheers and shouts of joy when Lego magazines arrive after much delay
728. Wonderful critique buddies for sharpening writing skills and encouraging me on
729. Time in Your presence
730. Being consumed
Because I'm an affirmation junkie...
Thank you, Lord God, for:
704. Anthony Evans music...worshipful...keeping me at Your feet
705. Hotdogs on plain white bread
706. Waking up to the sound of rain
707. Tears of healing
708. Friends to help process
709. Finished first submissions
710. Towels to soak spilled water on carpet
711. Questions
712. Answers that lead me deeper into You
713. Answers that do not change who I am in You
714. Ann Voskamp with words of Truth that find me in my hiding place
715. Friends, decades old, seeing the new things God is doing
719. Journals where thoughts become words...and sense is made
720. The luxury of voting for our government leaders
721. A warm bed
722. Hair clips
723. Breath
724. Dry socks
725. Clean water
726. Lunch with wonderful children
727. Cheers and shouts of joy when Lego magazines arrive after much delay
728. Wonderful critique buddies for sharpening writing skills and encouraging me on
729. Time in Your presence
730. Being consumed
Sunday, January 10, 2010
My Birthday
I lied. I admit it. And it wasn't even a "sort of lie". This was a big fat "I know I'm lying" lie.
My family asked what I wanted for my birthday, and I told them I really didnt' know. But I did. I not only knew what I wanted, I wanted it a lot. However, I couldn't tell them that, so I lied.
However, now, I have to tell you the whole truth about it because--no lie--it was amazing.
The week after Christmas I turned 41. Note the candles. Four blue and one green. Great idea by the Man of my Dreams. Kept him from going through all the matches we owned, and the fire department didn't have to come check out the glow over the horizon, and I didn't have to hyperventilate trying to blow them all out.
In the past my birthday hasn't been a big deal. It comes a week after Christmas and right after New Year's. Folks are still trying to convince themselves to finish off the turkey leftovers and wondering why they stayed up to watch that crazy ball in New York. Really, it has just never been that important.
Until this year.
And that is what makes it so very important.
When I was growing up, there was a person of significance in my life that told me multiple times over several years that they* wished I had never born, that their life would be easier without me, and in fact, the world would be a better place if I weren’t in it.
I now know statements such as that are called “word curses” because they steal, kill, and destroy. They steal identities, kill dream, and destroy destinies. They are lies from the pit of hell, and they can only be overcome with the Truth of God. Thankfully, over the years, I have come to know the Truth.
The Truth is I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Before the beginning of time, the Lord already had plans for me. His plans for me are always good, and they entail hope and a future. He plans to do me good and not harm. I am here, not by some cosmic freak accident, but because the God of the universe deemed it so, because He has things planned for me to do. According to His Word, all He made is good, and as one of His creations, I am good. He delights over me with singing. His love for me is beyond my wildest dreams, and His greatest desire is unity with me.
I know this. This is the Truth.
And yet, when the bravado drops, honestly digs deep, and I answer the question of what I really want, I sheepishly confess I want to know the world is better because I’m here. I want to know I am sharing the important part of me, the God part of me, the only part of me that matters. I want to know my being here makes a difference because of the difference He has made in me. It isn’t enough to simply take up space and do no harm. I want to know whatever realm I enter is better when I leave than it was when I arrived. I want to know people’s lives are richer because He put me in them…because He is in mine.
The fact is I have a pretty ordinary life. I am a wife and mom, which I love. I don’t take big trips. I don’t do glamorous things. When I write the family Christmas letter, I have a hard time filling up a paragraph about my life. When people ask what I’ve been doing, there really isn’t much to say. As I said, a pretty ordinary life. Can an ordinary life really mean that much? I wanted to know.
How does one ask for such a gift?
Does one dare? Is that shallow? Is it immature? Is it…dumb? Unsure, I lied and told my family I didn’t really want anything in particular, and I told God my heart.
A few months ago, my friend Rhonda Harkin told me the Lord always gives her a gift on her biological birthday and her spiritual birthday. I had been asking for a promise for the year to come for several years, but I had not asked for a birthday present…until this year.
I try to never put parameters on God’s gifts. I miss things when I do that. Sometimes I’m so busy looking for one thing that I don’t see the wonderful gift He set before me. This year, I was brave in that I told Him I wanted a Word, the kind of Word that rips off lies that dangles over my life and affects me in ways I don’t always realize. I wanted the kind of Word that I could go back for the rest of my life and say, “This is what God said.” I wanted a Word declaring destiny, something that screamed, “This is how amazing I declare my daughter to be,” and I wanted to not miss it.
But, knowing God is infinitely more wise and amazing than I can imagine, I left it up to Him.
But…in my heart of hearts, I thought, “Wouldn’t it be utterly cool to get a mailbox full of cards from people telling me I make a difference to them and their lives are better because of me?” Really, though, how likely was that to happen?
On the morning of my birthday, I got up before the rest of the house and enjoyed my quiet time. I waited to see if God had anything big to say. Nothing. And yet, I felt He had a smug smile and a sense of anticipation, like He had something planned and was just waiting to yell, “Surprise!”
When my family got up, they made me breakfast, gave me pens and books. The perfect gifts for me. But what struck me were the cards.
Each one had given me a card, and in each card were words that said, “Mom, my life is amazing because you are in it.” “My wife, my world is better because of you.” “Mom, you are so important to me.”
Words I had requested in secret lay before me. I read them allowed, letting them soak the atmosphere, letting them soak my heart. The Lord had heard my heart’s request, and He had given me these gifts. I sat amazed.
The Man of my Dreams let me know that there was another gift, but it was coming in the mail, so I had to wait. I didn’t care. I had what I had asked for. It hadn’t been the mailbox full of cards, but it had been cards full of the exact words I had said I wanted to hear. And I was so thankful.
A few hours later, I sat in the same chair with another box in my hands. Although it was brightly wrapped, it was obviously a shirt box. However, when I shook it, it didn’t sound like clothes. In fact, I had no idea what it could be.
I carefully pulled the tape, unwrapped the box, and folded the paper. Then I lifted the top.
My breath caught.
The box was filled with envelopes. In each envelope was a birthday card.
At first I looked at each envelope, the writing, the return address. Friends for decades and friends for only a few months. Cards from all over the United States.
A box full of them.
I couldn’t help but laugh.
“Back in November, I borrowed your computer and got email addresses from your sent items list. I emailed everyone, told them about your birthday, and asked them to send a card. I had them send it to (our neighbor’s) so you wouldn’t know. I feel bad because it really isn’t anything I got you, but I hope you like it.”
How does one say, “It is perfect,” and not sound cliché?
But it was. It was the exact thing I wanted, the thing I had no words…or courage…to ask for. There it sat in my hands.
For a full half hour or more, I opened envelope after envelope. Again, I saw my words lying before me. “My life is richer because you are in it…You have made such a difference to me…The world is a better place because you are here.”
There were a variety of material gifts tucked in as well, and I liked them, but they weren’t the real gift.
A few hours later, a friend stood at the door. She held out a card and a gift, but I knew. She was the gift. Her time. Her thoughtfulness. Her sharing my day. Everything she said by what she did. That was the gift.
That night I sat in the quiet of my study with a box of cards in front of me. The perfect gift. And yet, I knew that wasn’t the real gift. The real gift was the people who had filled the box, the ones who fill my heart.
Pretty amazing, isn’t it?
Wondering about the gift the Lord gave me or what He said? He said I’m so important that even before I knew what I really wanted, He was already putting it together. In fact, before Rhonda had told me about her birthday gifts, He was already working on mine.
I think the greatest gift He gives me, other than salvation, is His ongoing expression of love. I am in awe of His intimate observations of me, not as an omniscient God, but as a devoted friend and Lover. I am forever amazed at the details He makes into important things...the ways He makes me important.
He overwhelms me.
I am left in awe of how important my ordinary life is to such an extraordinary God. And knowing that makes all the difference...in everybody's life.
That's the Truth.
Copyright Jerri Phillips 2010
(For all those who were part of this amazing gift, please know you have made a difference in my life, and I am so very thankful for each of you. The cards, goodies, and kind words are so deeply appreciated, but YOU are the real gift. I love you.)
*Please note, I do know I am talking about one person and am aware that “they” is a plural pronoun. I have chosen to be gender unspecific on purpose.
My family asked what I wanted for my birthday, and I told them I really didnt' know. But I did. I not only knew what I wanted, I wanted it a lot. However, I couldn't tell them that, so I lied.
However, now, I have to tell you the whole truth about it because--no lie--it was amazing.
The week after Christmas I turned 41. Note the candles. Four blue and one green. Great idea by the Man of my Dreams. Kept him from going through all the matches we owned, and the fire department didn't have to come check out the glow over the horizon, and I didn't have to hyperventilate trying to blow them all out.
In the past my birthday hasn't been a big deal. It comes a week after Christmas and right after New Year's. Folks are still trying to convince themselves to finish off the turkey leftovers and wondering why they stayed up to watch that crazy ball in New York. Really, it has just never been that important.
Until this year.
And that is what makes it so very important.
When I was growing up, there was a person of significance in my life that told me multiple times over several years that they* wished I had never born, that their life would be easier without me, and in fact, the world would be a better place if I weren’t in it.
I now know statements such as that are called “word curses” because they steal, kill, and destroy. They steal identities, kill dream, and destroy destinies. They are lies from the pit of hell, and they can only be overcome with the Truth of God. Thankfully, over the years, I have come to know the Truth.
The Truth is I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Before the beginning of time, the Lord already had plans for me. His plans for me are always good, and they entail hope and a future. He plans to do me good and not harm. I am here, not by some cosmic freak accident, but because the God of the universe deemed it so, because He has things planned for me to do. According to His Word, all He made is good, and as one of His creations, I am good. He delights over me with singing. His love for me is beyond my wildest dreams, and His greatest desire is unity with me.
I know this. This is the Truth.
And yet, when the bravado drops, honestly digs deep, and I answer the question of what I really want, I sheepishly confess I want to know the world is better because I’m here. I want to know I am sharing the important part of me, the God part of me, the only part of me that matters. I want to know my being here makes a difference because of the difference He has made in me. It isn’t enough to simply take up space and do no harm. I want to know whatever realm I enter is better when I leave than it was when I arrived. I want to know people’s lives are richer because He put me in them…because He is in mine.
The fact is I have a pretty ordinary life. I am a wife and mom, which I love. I don’t take big trips. I don’t do glamorous things. When I write the family Christmas letter, I have a hard time filling up a paragraph about my life. When people ask what I’ve been doing, there really isn’t much to say. As I said, a pretty ordinary life. Can an ordinary life really mean that much? I wanted to know.
How does one ask for such a gift?
Does one dare? Is that shallow? Is it immature? Is it…dumb? Unsure, I lied and told my family I didn’t really want anything in particular, and I told God my heart.
A few months ago, my friend Rhonda Harkin told me the Lord always gives her a gift on her biological birthday and her spiritual birthday. I had been asking for a promise for the year to come for several years, but I had not asked for a birthday present…until this year.
I try to never put parameters on God’s gifts. I miss things when I do that. Sometimes I’m so busy looking for one thing that I don’t see the wonderful gift He set before me. This year, I was brave in that I told Him I wanted a Word, the kind of Word that rips off lies that dangles over my life and affects me in ways I don’t always realize. I wanted the kind of Word that I could go back for the rest of my life and say, “This is what God said.” I wanted a Word declaring destiny, something that screamed, “This is how amazing I declare my daughter to be,” and I wanted to not miss it.
But, knowing God is infinitely more wise and amazing than I can imagine, I left it up to Him.
But…in my heart of hearts, I thought, “Wouldn’t it be utterly cool to get a mailbox full of cards from people telling me I make a difference to them and their lives are better because of me?” Really, though, how likely was that to happen?
On the morning of my birthday, I got up before the rest of the house and enjoyed my quiet time. I waited to see if God had anything big to say. Nothing. And yet, I felt He had a smug smile and a sense of anticipation, like He had something planned and was just waiting to yell, “Surprise!”
When my family got up, they made me breakfast, gave me pens and books. The perfect gifts for me. But what struck me were the cards.
Each one had given me a card, and in each card were words that said, “Mom, my life is amazing because you are in it.” “My wife, my world is better because of you.” “Mom, you are so important to me.”
Words I had requested in secret lay before me. I read them allowed, letting them soak the atmosphere, letting them soak my heart. The Lord had heard my heart’s request, and He had given me these gifts. I sat amazed.
The Man of my Dreams let me know that there was another gift, but it was coming in the mail, so I had to wait. I didn’t care. I had what I had asked for. It hadn’t been the mailbox full of cards, but it had been cards full of the exact words I had said I wanted to hear. And I was so thankful.
A few hours later, I sat in the same chair with another box in my hands. Although it was brightly wrapped, it was obviously a shirt box. However, when I shook it, it didn’t sound like clothes. In fact, I had no idea what it could be.
I carefully pulled the tape, unwrapped the box, and folded the paper. Then I lifted the top.
My breath caught.
The box was filled with envelopes. In each envelope was a birthday card.
At first I looked at each envelope, the writing, the return address. Friends for decades and friends for only a few months. Cards from all over the United States.
A box full of them.
I couldn’t help but laugh.
“Back in November, I borrowed your computer and got email addresses from your sent items list. I emailed everyone, told them about your birthday, and asked them to send a card. I had them send it to (our neighbor’s) so you wouldn’t know. I feel bad because it really isn’t anything I got you, but I hope you like it.”
How does one say, “It is perfect,” and not sound cliché?
But it was. It was the exact thing I wanted, the thing I had no words…or courage…to ask for. There it sat in my hands.
For a full half hour or more, I opened envelope after envelope. Again, I saw my words lying before me. “My life is richer because you are in it…You have made such a difference to me…The world is a better place because you are here.”
There were a variety of material gifts tucked in as well, and I liked them, but they weren’t the real gift.
A few hours later, a friend stood at the door. She held out a card and a gift, but I knew. She was the gift. Her time. Her thoughtfulness. Her sharing my day. Everything she said by what she did. That was the gift.
That night I sat in the quiet of my study with a box of cards in front of me. The perfect gift. And yet, I knew that wasn’t the real gift. The real gift was the people who had filled the box, the ones who fill my heart.
Pretty amazing, isn’t it?
Wondering about the gift the Lord gave me or what He said? He said I’m so important that even before I knew what I really wanted, He was already putting it together. In fact, before Rhonda had told me about her birthday gifts, He was already working on mine.
I think the greatest gift He gives me, other than salvation, is His ongoing expression of love. I am in awe of His intimate observations of me, not as an omniscient God, but as a devoted friend and Lover. I am forever amazed at the details He makes into important things...the ways He makes me important.
He overwhelms me.
I am left in awe of how important my ordinary life is to such an extraordinary God. And knowing that makes all the difference...in everybody's life.
That's the Truth.
Copyright Jerri Phillips 2010
(For all those who were part of this amazing gift, please know you have made a difference in my life, and I am so very thankful for each of you. The cards, goodies, and kind words are so deeply appreciated, but YOU are the real gift. I love you.)
*Please note, I do know I am talking about one person and am aware that “they” is a plural pronoun. I have chosen to be gender unspecific on purpose.
Sunday, November 22, 2009
Gratitude 27--Everyday Extraordinary
Moments when I whisper, "Thank you, Lord," that bring a smile to my face and joy to my heart...moments when appreciate is real and deep...moments when I am intoxicated with joy or relief. Slipping past at the speed of life...appearing suddenly...disappearing subtly...in my own silence...
Lord, today, I choose to hold on to the extraordinary in the everyday...to You showing wondrously showing Yourself in the mundane...
And I grasp...
676. Veins and arteries with blood and ink coursing through the legs of my dad
677. A surprised doctor trying to explain the difference between a sonogram spotted with blockage and a scope that finds nothing
678. A little boy, wondrous, laughing, asking to be tickled...again
679. 30 purple scarves for 30 women whose lives are wrapped up in Whose they are to be, not what they are to do
680. Conversations I never want to forget
Me to Son: You are acting like a dorkoid.
Son laughing: Mom, that is what boys are supposed to do.
Me feigning dismay: Oh! Here I thought I had you so you could do dishes and the laundry, but really, your whole purpose is to be a dorkoid?
Son with eyes twinkling, laughter about to explode: Uh, yeah. Sorry for the confusion.
681. Quiet in the house
6582. A day for hubby to resettle and relax
683. Bare feet on a wooden floor, so much for quiet mice. :-)
684. Good books to get to know
685. Warm blankets
686. Chilly nights
687. Cups of warm coziness
688. Hoody jackets
689. A wonderful brother, celebrating the masterpiece he is
690. An amazing homeschool co-op
691. Encouraging emails that settle deep in my heart
692. A husband who can drive our family safely to appointments when I am too dizzy to drive
693. Negative flu tests
694. Four young ladies who make photography so much fun
695. Two drama students who do not let missing cast members stop the show
696. Sister who sleeps in Little Brother's room when he needs company
697. Crushed ice
698. Early bedtimes
699. Fans for white noise
700. People with compassionate hearts who pray for strangers in need
701. High school students that add a punctuation of joy to my Fridays
702. Gifts that remind me of friends far away.
703. Rechargable batteries
Lord, today, I choose to hold on to the extraordinary in the everyday...to You showing wondrously showing Yourself in the mundane...
And I grasp...
676. Veins and arteries with blood and ink coursing through the legs of my dad
677. A surprised doctor trying to explain the difference between a sonogram spotted with blockage and a scope that finds nothing
678. A little boy, wondrous, laughing, asking to be tickled...again
679. 30 purple scarves for 30 women whose lives are wrapped up in Whose they are to be, not what they are to do
680. Conversations I never want to forget
Me to Son: You are acting like a dorkoid.
Son laughing: Mom, that is what boys are supposed to do.
Me feigning dismay: Oh! Here I thought I had you so you could do dishes and the laundry, but really, your whole purpose is to be a dorkoid?
Son with eyes twinkling, laughter about to explode: Uh, yeah. Sorry for the confusion.
681. Quiet in the house
6582. A day for hubby to resettle and relax
683. Bare feet on a wooden floor, so much for quiet mice. :-)
684. Good books to get to know
685. Warm blankets
686. Chilly nights
687. Cups of warm coziness
688. Hoody jackets
689. A wonderful brother, celebrating the masterpiece he is
690. An amazing homeschool co-op
691. Encouraging emails that settle deep in my heart
692. A husband who can drive our family safely to appointments when I am too dizzy to drive
693. Negative flu tests
694. Four young ladies who make photography so much fun
695. Two drama students who do not let missing cast members stop the show
696. Sister who sleeps in Little Brother's room when he needs company
697. Crushed ice
698. Early bedtimes
699. Fans for white noise
700. People with compassionate hearts who pray for strangers in need
701. High school students that add a punctuation of joy to my Fridays
702. Gifts that remind me of friends far away.
703. Rechargable batteries
Monday, November 2, 2009
Gratitude 26--Normal, Everyday Gratitude
Last week, my uncle, Lanny Ray Kelley, passed on to be with Jesus. I spent several days doing whatever my cousin needed. Today I am home, and it's just a normal, everyday day. I'm thankful.
Thank you, God for...
651. being home with my children today.
652. a great night's sleep.
653. the ability to turn the ringer off the phone.
654. amazing weather.
655. little boys still happy to snuggle.
656. an absolutely fabulous husband.
657. your Word that is new every morning and ready to face whatever we do.
658. loving me so mindboggling much that with each new adventure, I see a new side of it, feel it fresh all over again, and fall even more madly in love with You than I've ever been.
659. laundry in need of washing.
660. a counter piled high.
661. trash out on the curb just in time.
662. clean dishes in the washer.
663. lessons waiting to be learned.
664. a sunroom filled with the evidence of fun had by two loving siblings.
665. friends who understand that really what I need is NOT to talk.
666. morning coffee.
667. quiet time.
668. warm socks.
669. routine.
670. having nowhere to go today.
671. growing girl still snuggled warmly in her bed.
672. cereal and cold milk eaten at my table with my children.
673. a Fluff-a-poodle lying on my feet
674. quiet.
675. a smile on my face.
Thank you, God for...
651. being home with my children today.
652. a great night's sleep.
653. the ability to turn the ringer off the phone.
654. amazing weather.
655. little boys still happy to snuggle.
656. an absolutely fabulous husband.
657. your Word that is new every morning and ready to face whatever we do.
658. loving me so mindboggling much that with each new adventure, I see a new side of it, feel it fresh all over again, and fall even more madly in love with You than I've ever been.
659. laundry in need of washing.
660. a counter piled high.
661. trash out on the curb just in time.
662. clean dishes in the washer.
663. lessons waiting to be learned.
664. a sunroom filled with the evidence of fun had by two loving siblings.
665. friends who understand that really what I need is NOT to talk.
666. morning coffee.
667. quiet time.
668. warm socks.
669. routine.
670. having nowhere to go today.
671. growing girl still snuggled warmly in her bed.
672. cereal and cold milk eaten at my table with my children.
673. a Fluff-a-poodle lying on my feet
674. quiet.
675. a smile on my face.
Tuesday, October 20, 2009
Gratitude 25--Choosing to Hear the TeNoR PLAy
Years ago, I was memorizing parts of Philippians 4. When I reached the list of things to think on, I needed something to make them cohesive. I put them in a list:
True
Noble
Right
Pure
Lovely
Admirable
My boyfriend immediately came to mind. No, not because I was so madly in love that he was all of those things but because he played the tenor saxophone. See it yet?
True
e
Noble
o
Right
Pure
Lovely
Admirable
y
Today, that boyfriend is my husband of 18 years, and his saxophone sits in our garage. Most of the time, I think he is still really wonderful, but sometimes, on days like today, he hurts my feelings, not just a little but a lot, and it is easy to get bad and offended and hang on to that. It is easy to see the aggravating things he "always" does and to forget the good things he "never" does. Trust me, folks, I learned from the best on how to nurse a grudge. But the fact is, I don't want to nurse a grudge, and he doesn't "always" do those aggravating things, nor does he "never" do good things. But mentally knowing that and emotionally moving beyond it sadly are not always simultaneous actions. My emotions often need a bit of help.
That is when again the TeNoR PLAys.
True--He loves me and wants to be the perfect husband for me. Really, in his heart, he would never ever do anything to hurt me, and it hurts him when he knows he's hurt me or let me down in anyway.
Noble--He works so hard, and he doesn't complain. Even when he's tired, he does what needs to be done to take care of our family and meet our needs.
Right--He respects others and makes the effort to see their good points and their good intentions.
Pure--He isn't ego driven.
Lovely--He lights up when he sees us. He really enjoys being a husband and dad. He really enjoys us.
Admirable--When something is settled, it is settled. He never brings it up again.
He's all those things and more. Even on days like today, he's music to my ears, and I'm so thankful he's my husband.
True
Noble
Right
Pure
Lovely
Admirable
My boyfriend immediately came to mind. No, not because I was so madly in love that he was all of those things but because he played the tenor saxophone. See it yet?
True
e
Noble
o
Right
Pure
Lovely
Admirable
y
Today, that boyfriend is my husband of 18 years, and his saxophone sits in our garage. Most of the time, I think he is still really wonderful, but sometimes, on days like today, he hurts my feelings, not just a little but a lot, and it is easy to get bad and offended and hang on to that. It is easy to see the aggravating things he "always" does and to forget the good things he "never" does. Trust me, folks, I learned from the best on how to nurse a grudge. But the fact is, I don't want to nurse a grudge, and he doesn't "always" do those aggravating things, nor does he "never" do good things. But mentally knowing that and emotionally moving beyond it sadly are not always simultaneous actions. My emotions often need a bit of help.
That is when again the TeNoR PLAys.
True--He loves me and wants to be the perfect husband for me. Really, in his heart, he would never ever do anything to hurt me, and it hurts him when he knows he's hurt me or let me down in anyway.
Noble--He works so hard, and he doesn't complain. Even when he's tired, he does what needs to be done to take care of our family and meet our needs.
Right--He respects others and makes the effort to see their good points and their good intentions.
Pure--He isn't ego driven.
Lovely--He lights up when he sees us. He really enjoys being a husband and dad. He really enjoys us.
Admirable--When something is settled, it is settled. He never brings it up again.
He's all those things and more. Even on days like today, he's music to my ears, and I'm so thankful he's my husband.
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