Today's List:
Catch up on school not done last week when Boy Child and I were ill
Finish the laundry
Wash the comforters and blankets since Rob is reacting to the dog dander on it
Make tomato basil soup
Clean up the yard where a dog helped itself to trash last night (not on the original list)
Read and critique three chapters for my friend
Coffee tonight (yeah!)
Upload my pictures for the 1000 Gifts blog I plan on posting today
Walk the dog
Busy day, but a good day.
Then...
...the phone rings.
A strained voice. Tears trying not to fall. "Dad is in the ER. We had to transport him by ambulance..."
The list of issues is not good.
"Do you need me there?"
I'm already walking to the bedroom to find clothes and making plans to adjust plans.
"No, not yet. Let me find out what is happening first. They don't have a room number for him yet. I'll call..."
I hang up and...
...make phone calls asking for prayer.
...post the information on our Facebook pages.
...let Rob know what is happening.
...wonder what else needs to be done.
...make mental contingency plans.
...let key people know about the possibility of needing to make major changes to the week's plans.
The children ask me questions. My answers are sharp. I am apologetic. They are forgiving. Such grace.
But I know, I am not useful this way. I am not the peace needed. I am in need.
An invitation comes.
"Be still and know that I am God."
How easy to dismiss wisdom's invitation in favor of pride's determination to push through, to be strong, to overcome. The words are devoid of real meaning in our world which hears, "Sit down and read your Bible or pray."
But the promise resounds in the hardness of life.
"What is bothering you? What desires to intimidate you? What stands against you? Be still. Rest. Let it go. Know I AM God. See me handle the problem. See me work mightily on your behalf. Know I am bigger than this and will use it for your good. Don't fear. It is not bigger than me. Be still and know I am God."
I hold out my hands, full of to do lists and concerns, and empty them into His. He is capable.
I am still.
Copyright Jerri Phillips 2009
Monday, October 26, 2009
Thursday, October 22, 2009
The "S" Word
She used the word "selfish".
Her friend called it "stupid".
I said it was "sad".
The police called it "suicide".
Even in the early afternoon sun, the flashing red and blue lit up the parking lot. The helicopter added the punctuation mark screaming something horrible had happened.
"Horrible" hardly touches the reality.
Two lives blasted into eternity.
First hers. Then his.
Two shots.
Dozens of witnesses.
A million questions.
The general explanation--divorce.
The real cause--A person with more pain than he believed could heal. A person with no where to take his anger, his pain, his hopelessness, so they took him.
And families and friends will try to make sense of this incredibly heartbreaking act. An ocean of opinions will flood forth. Facts mixed with fiction, and none will make a difference.
Quietly, some who knew--and did not know--this couple will slip to their knees. Tears will fall. Prayers will be lifted. Grief-stricken hearts and compassionate souls will cry out because they know all that will ever make a difference...all that would have made a difference this time...
...a Savior.
Copyright Jerri Phillips 2009
Her friend called it "stupid".
I said it was "sad".
The police called it "suicide".
Even in the early afternoon sun, the flashing red and blue lit up the parking lot. The helicopter added the punctuation mark screaming something horrible had happened.
"Horrible" hardly touches the reality.
Two lives blasted into eternity.
First hers. Then his.
Two shots.
Dozens of witnesses.
A million questions.
The general explanation--divorce.
The real cause--A person with more pain than he believed could heal. A person with no where to take his anger, his pain, his hopelessness, so they took him.
And families and friends will try to make sense of this incredibly heartbreaking act. An ocean of opinions will flood forth. Facts mixed with fiction, and none will make a difference.
Quietly, some who knew--and did not know--this couple will slip to their knees. Tears will fall. Prayers will be lifted. Grief-stricken hearts and compassionate souls will cry out because they know all that will ever make a difference...all that would have made a difference this time...
...a Savior.
Copyright Jerri Phillips 2009
Wednesday, October 21, 2009
Bigger Than We Realized
When we joined the group, we saw it as a great opportunity for our son. He would meet friends, do something he loved, and grow in a variety of ways. We had visions of laughter and good memories, long-time friendships, and family bonding through supporting his adventure. We had prayed, and we had faith that this was of God, so we jumped in with both feet expecting the work of our hands to be blessed.
...Except it didn't work...
Not the way we thought it would, not the way we had in mind.
In fact, it has not really been what we thought it would be at all. The group lacks the order we think it should have. The people are not...as...easy to get along with as we expected. The leader seems to be struggling. I could go on. Believe me, we have a laundry list of things that are not to our liking, and if we had known what this was going to be like, we would not have joined.
...Except we had prayed...
...We all were sure God wanted us to participate...
...And God knew exactly what it was going to be...
In Proverbs 16:9 we are told man plans his course, but God determines the steps. In other words, we have the general idea, but God has the specifics. We see a destination, and God knows exactly how to get there.
For us, we wanted our son to grow, to develop character, to learn to work on a team. So did God. He just had different steps to getting there, steps I would not have chosen. Maybe that is why He didn't share that part.
However, now we are in the middle of it all, and in view of our plans and goals, we are pretty disillusioned. We are not seeing the blessings and prosperity we expected. To be quite blunt, we are miserable, confused, and ready to bail.
But above the clatter of my grumbling, I hear a soft voice, a voice tender with love. "How do you think the leader feels?" And in a second I am transported to the many times I have had a vision to build something bigger than me, to bless others, to offer opportunity for others' growth, only to find the road harder than I expected and support lacking. Again voices of fair-weather supporters hoping to capitalize on the success of the vision ring in my ears. Words filled with grumbling, fault-finding, and discouragement...ones that sound too much like mine as of late.
I am still, and my grumbling is silenced. He whispers on.
"How will these young people learn to be a team if no one teaches them? How will they survive with no one to speak life? How will MY son grow character if he never faces a mountain? Great leaders are not made in the quiet places of life but in face of obstacles. I have called him by name, 'One who overcomes all obstacles.' I have called him for such a time as this. He can be a great leader because he has parents with great vision and great faith. Did you not have faith I called you to this? Faith for great things. Faith for growth. Faith for steps of destiny?"
I nod silently...humbly...
Faith that we have something of value to give...that God can use us despite our lack and need to meet others' needs by showing Himself through us.
Faith that in leading us in our destinies He is speaking into others' destinies as well.
Faith that the greatest blessing is to be used by an amazing God to do amazing things in everyday life.
His voice grows even quieter.
"All that matters is faith expressing itself through love.*"
Love for difficult people.
Love for a leader who is trying and has a good heart and a big vision.
Love for God who has chosen us to be His ambassador in this situation.
Love--the act of seeing a situation, not as a means of getting what we want or lack, but as a chance to give what we have...a chance to reveal Him...a chance to see ourselves as He sees us...purposed, equipped, overcomers, contributors...a chosen piece of the solution.
Grumblings silenced, I am in awe.
In awe of a God who lets me think such small thoughts so He can accomplish such great things.
In awe of love so great that it uses us even when we are unlovely.
In awe of a God who sees such large potential in a young boy.
In awe that He lets this self-focused broken vessel with such a tiny self-absorbed comfort zone be the mother of greatness in the making...only realizing in flashes that greatness is already made each time we step aside and let the Lord do what He desires. Body size is consumed in the powerful act of simple obedience.
Yes, I am in awe.
And I take this awe...with encouraged faith and refocused love...look at this little boy with destiny impacting power and say, "This is so much bigger than we realized. YOU are so much bigger than you realized," and pray for him to hold onto that identity, that Truth...and pray I do, too.
*scripture from Galatians 5:6
Copyright Jerri Phillips 2009
...Except it didn't work...
Not the way we thought it would, not the way we had in mind.
In fact, it has not really been what we thought it would be at all. The group lacks the order we think it should have. The people are not...as...easy to get along with as we expected. The leader seems to be struggling. I could go on. Believe me, we have a laundry list of things that are not to our liking, and if we had known what this was going to be like, we would not have joined.
...Except we had prayed...
...We all were sure God wanted us to participate...
...And God knew exactly what it was going to be...
In Proverbs 16:9 we are told man plans his course, but God determines the steps. In other words, we have the general idea, but God has the specifics. We see a destination, and God knows exactly how to get there.
For us, we wanted our son to grow, to develop character, to learn to work on a team. So did God. He just had different steps to getting there, steps I would not have chosen. Maybe that is why He didn't share that part.
However, now we are in the middle of it all, and in view of our plans and goals, we are pretty disillusioned. We are not seeing the blessings and prosperity we expected. To be quite blunt, we are miserable, confused, and ready to bail.
But above the clatter of my grumbling, I hear a soft voice, a voice tender with love. "How do you think the leader feels?" And in a second I am transported to the many times I have had a vision to build something bigger than me, to bless others, to offer opportunity for others' growth, only to find the road harder than I expected and support lacking. Again voices of fair-weather supporters hoping to capitalize on the success of the vision ring in my ears. Words filled with grumbling, fault-finding, and discouragement...ones that sound too much like mine as of late.
I am still, and my grumbling is silenced. He whispers on.
"How will these young people learn to be a team if no one teaches them? How will they survive with no one to speak life? How will MY son grow character if he never faces a mountain? Great leaders are not made in the quiet places of life but in face of obstacles. I have called him by name, 'One who overcomes all obstacles.' I have called him for such a time as this. He can be a great leader because he has parents with great vision and great faith. Did you not have faith I called you to this? Faith for great things. Faith for growth. Faith for steps of destiny?"
I nod silently...humbly...
Faith that we have something of value to give...that God can use us despite our lack and need to meet others' needs by showing Himself through us.
Faith that in leading us in our destinies He is speaking into others' destinies as well.
Faith that the greatest blessing is to be used by an amazing God to do amazing things in everyday life.
His voice grows even quieter.
"All that matters is faith expressing itself through love.*"
Love for difficult people.
Love for a leader who is trying and has a good heart and a big vision.
Love for God who has chosen us to be His ambassador in this situation.
Love--the act of seeing a situation, not as a means of getting what we want or lack, but as a chance to give what we have...a chance to reveal Him...a chance to see ourselves as He sees us...purposed, equipped, overcomers, contributors...a chosen piece of the solution.
Grumblings silenced, I am in awe.
In awe of a God who lets me think such small thoughts so He can accomplish such great things.
In awe of love so great that it uses us even when we are unlovely.
In awe of a God who sees such large potential in a young boy.
In awe that He lets this self-focused broken vessel with such a tiny self-absorbed comfort zone be the mother of greatness in the making...only realizing in flashes that greatness is already made each time we step aside and let the Lord do what He desires. Body size is consumed in the powerful act of simple obedience.
Yes, I am in awe.
And I take this awe...with encouraged faith and refocused love...look at this little boy with destiny impacting power and say, "This is so much bigger than we realized. YOU are so much bigger than you realized," and pray for him to hold onto that identity, that Truth...and pray I do, too.
*scripture from Galatians 5:6
Copyright Jerri Phillips 2009
Tuesday, October 20, 2009
Gratitude 25--Choosing to Hear the TeNoR PLAy
Years ago, I was memorizing parts of Philippians 4. When I reached the list of things to think on, I needed something to make them cohesive. I put them in a list:
True
Noble
Right
Pure
Lovely
Admirable
My boyfriend immediately came to mind. No, not because I was so madly in love that he was all of those things but because he played the tenor saxophone. See it yet?
True
e
Noble
o
Right
Pure
Lovely
Admirable
y
Today, that boyfriend is my husband of 18 years, and his saxophone sits in our garage. Most of the time, I think he is still really wonderful, but sometimes, on days like today, he hurts my feelings, not just a little but a lot, and it is easy to get bad and offended and hang on to that. It is easy to see the aggravating things he "always" does and to forget the good things he "never" does. Trust me, folks, I learned from the best on how to nurse a grudge. But the fact is, I don't want to nurse a grudge, and he doesn't "always" do those aggravating things, nor does he "never" do good things. But mentally knowing that and emotionally moving beyond it sadly are not always simultaneous actions. My emotions often need a bit of help.
That is when again the TeNoR PLAys.
True--He loves me and wants to be the perfect husband for me. Really, in his heart, he would never ever do anything to hurt me, and it hurts him when he knows he's hurt me or let me down in anyway.
Noble--He works so hard, and he doesn't complain. Even when he's tired, he does what needs to be done to take care of our family and meet our needs.
Right--He respects others and makes the effort to see their good points and their good intentions.
Pure--He isn't ego driven.
Lovely--He lights up when he sees us. He really enjoys being a husband and dad. He really enjoys us.
Admirable--When something is settled, it is settled. He never brings it up again.
He's all those things and more. Even on days like today, he's music to my ears, and I'm so thankful he's my husband.
True
Noble
Right
Pure
Lovely
Admirable
My boyfriend immediately came to mind. No, not because I was so madly in love that he was all of those things but because he played the tenor saxophone. See it yet?
True
e
Noble
o
Right
Pure
Lovely
Admirable
y
Today, that boyfriend is my husband of 18 years, and his saxophone sits in our garage. Most of the time, I think he is still really wonderful, but sometimes, on days like today, he hurts my feelings, not just a little but a lot, and it is easy to get bad and offended and hang on to that. It is easy to see the aggravating things he "always" does and to forget the good things he "never" does. Trust me, folks, I learned from the best on how to nurse a grudge. But the fact is, I don't want to nurse a grudge, and he doesn't "always" do those aggravating things, nor does he "never" do good things. But mentally knowing that and emotionally moving beyond it sadly are not always simultaneous actions. My emotions often need a bit of help.
That is when again the TeNoR PLAys.
True--He loves me and wants to be the perfect husband for me. Really, in his heart, he would never ever do anything to hurt me, and it hurts him when he knows he's hurt me or let me down in anyway.
Noble--He works so hard, and he doesn't complain. Even when he's tired, he does what needs to be done to take care of our family and meet our needs.
Right--He respects others and makes the effort to see their good points and their good intentions.
Pure--He isn't ego driven.
Lovely--He lights up when he sees us. He really enjoys being a husband and dad. He really enjoys us.
Admirable--When something is settled, it is settled. He never brings it up again.
He's all those things and more. Even on days like today, he's music to my ears, and I'm so thankful he's my husband.
Monday, October 19, 2009
Gratitude 24--An Act of Worship
It has been a long time since I've sat down and chronicled the many blessings of God--too long. This past weekend found me under the weather with a sinus infection. I'm not the best patient in the world. In fact, being sick makes me gloomy and whiny. Thankfully, I have the perfect antidote--worship. Gratitude is the beginning of worship, and I invite you to join my worship.
Lord, you are so worthy of my worship. You are good beyond my wildest dreams. You pour out joyous, amazing things for me to enjoy so I can see you clearer and understand you better. Father, I adore you, and I am so grateful for how much you love me.
Thank you for:
1. Sunshine--warm to the face and good for the soul
2. Leanna Ellis books
3. Jim and Mary Eicher who pray fervently for my family
4. email to keep me in touch with those close to me
5. Bloggers that speak truth that lift my spirits while my body lies still to heal
6. Tomato basil soup
7. Clean water
8. Cooler weather
9. Tents for Daddy and Son to bond
10. New blossoms in the herb garden
11. Morning glories that are truly glorious wads of color open to praise you with their colorful trumpets
12. Phones that allow me to call my mom and see how they are
13. My great stepdad
14. Warm blankets
15. Electric blankets that keep camping menfolk warm on cold nights
16. Airmattresses
17. Cool washcloths
18. Antibiotics
19. Steroids
20. Warm socks
21. Jenny Brinton for reminding me that worship is the greatest weapon of warfare I have
22. Pets that lend love and are happy to lie close
23. State Fair
24. Coffee with friends
25. The book of Psalms
26. Cheerios--even the name makes me feel better
27. Smoked Cheddar Cheese burgers
28. Man of my Dreams who can cook
29. Grill
30. Little boys who read books to a tired and weary Mom
31. Friends who rejoice with me over the good stuff
Have stuff you are grateful for? Share it with the rest of us in the Gratitude Community. Follow the link below and enter your URL into the list on Ann Voskamp's page. While there, visit some of the others and rejoice with them, too.
Thank you for joining me in praising the King.
Note: The above list represents #621-#650 of my 1000 Gifts list.
Lord, you are so worthy of my worship. You are good beyond my wildest dreams. You pour out joyous, amazing things for me to enjoy so I can see you clearer and understand you better. Father, I adore you, and I am so grateful for how much you love me.
Thank you for:
1. Sunshine--warm to the face and good for the soul
2. Leanna Ellis books
3. Jim and Mary Eicher who pray fervently for my family
4. email to keep me in touch with those close to me
5. Bloggers that speak truth that lift my spirits while my body lies still to heal
6. Tomato basil soup
7. Clean water
8. Cooler weather
9. Tents for Daddy and Son to bond
10. New blossoms in the herb garden
11. Morning glories that are truly glorious wads of color open to praise you with their colorful trumpets
12. Phones that allow me to call my mom and see how they are
13. My great stepdad
14. Warm blankets
15. Electric blankets that keep camping menfolk warm on cold nights
16. Airmattresses
17. Cool washcloths
18. Antibiotics
19. Steroids
20. Warm socks
21. Jenny Brinton for reminding me that worship is the greatest weapon of warfare I have
22. Pets that lend love and are happy to lie close
23. State Fair
24. Coffee with friends
25. The book of Psalms
26. Cheerios--even the name makes me feel better
27. Smoked Cheddar Cheese burgers
28. Man of my Dreams who can cook
29. Grill
30. Little boys who read books to a tired and weary Mom
31. Friends who rejoice with me over the good stuff
Have stuff you are grateful for? Share it with the rest of us in the Gratitude Community. Follow the link below and enter your URL into the list on Ann Voskamp's page. While there, visit some of the others and rejoice with them, too.
Thank you for joining me in praising the King.
Practical Warfare
I often write about warfare being faith to stand in the truth no matter what the circumstances. Most of the time, people associate that with big things, like waiting for a job, wanting reconciliation in a relationship, return of a prodigal, healing. However, no victory is attained through one mighty act. Victory comes through a million actions that are done correctly with one goal in mind.
Let me explain this from a practical perspective.
I confess. I'm a lousy patient. When I'm sick, I'm whiny, and I want someone to take care of me. I don't want someone to drop in periodically. I want a nursemaid, hand and foot, beckon call. Yeah, I'm that needy.
Reality--I don't have anyone that fits that description.
What I have are friends who pray for me, call and check on me, fix meals when needed, and drop emails to say they love me. I have two children with hearts of gold who draw me pictures, get me drinks, read me stories in my bed, and close the door when I fall asleep. I have a husband who does his best to step into shoes that he is not used to, meet my needs, make sure I take my meds on time, feed the children, run the errands, keep the house, walk the dogs, and generally keep the ranch running.
A pretty good bunch, don't you think?
So here is my truth:
My friends love me and really will do all they can to help me.
My children want to help and will do what they can.
My husband tries to carry what he can so I can heal up.
I'm loved.
Folks are on my side.
God provides for my healing in a myriad of ways.
That is the truth.
While I have all those good things, I also have this voice that likes to whisper in my ear and say things like:
"Your husband really doesn't care or he would be in here rubbing your aching muscles. The children are in there making a mess in the bathroom for you to clean up when you are finally better, and they don't care that you are sick. In fact, they don't care that you are trying to sleep. If they did, they wouldn't be playing so loud. And what about that person you made roast for when her family had the flu? Has she even bothered to email and see how you feeling? No. Ungrateful. And why is that you can do all these things for everyone else, but no one can do anything for you when you feel lousy? And how come no else knows how to pick up clothes but you? Why can't anyone else put a stupid cup in the dishwasher for goodness sake? Do these people ever listen to you? Do they have any respect for you? If you just got in your car and left, do you think they would notice? No! And you know what? This sinus infection is turning into respiratory infections, ear problems, and hospital stays for people all over America, and now your immune system is shot, so you are more likely to get something worse, like the flu..."
And on and on the insanity goes.
This is the lie.
The lie says:
Those people I call friends, don't really care. If they did, they would do something. I don't know what, but something. They are just not trying hard enough. They don't value me. They don't care if I'm miserable.
Those children have lousy character, lousy hearts, and just stink.
My husband...well, we all know about him and how he hates doing anything for me, right? If he really loved me, he'd be more attentive. He'd be doing something. I don't know what exactly, but something! And since he's not doing it, he obviously doesn't care about me.
And that means this marriage that I have worked so hard for all this time is just not what I wanted. Other women have husbands that love them. If Rob were like them...
And God. Well, God didn't keep me from being sick with this, so what makes me think He'll keep me from being sick with something else or something worse?
Are you laughing? It is laughable. The insanity is laughable. And yet, it isn't.
When our minds are clear, we look at the above and think, "Great googly moogly! How did you make that kind of a stretch? That's nuts!"
But when I'm sick, tired, weary, lonely, wounded, or hurting, I hear those voices, and instead of calling them insane, I nod and say, "Yeah, that's right."
THAT, my friends, is where the warfare lies, and that is where victory is to be found.
Satan will whisper all kinds of lies, but we have to respond with the truth. When he says, "Your friends don't care about you," I have to say, "This friend has emailed three times today to see if I need anything. This friend offered to make me dinner. This friend is praying for me."
When he says, "Your children don't care," I have to say, "My daughter did dishes for me. My son read me a book. They made me pictures."
Whatever his lie, I have to respond with the truth. I cannot allow myself to agree with one single lie because if I agree, my mind becomes imprisoned in the lying way of thinking. Then no matter what my husband does, I put it through my broken filter.
For instance, my husband camped out with our son in the backyard one night while I was sick with a sinus infection. The truth is every sound hurt. However, Satan taunted me and said if Rob really cared about me, he would be with me, not having fun. See the lie: Rob loves fun, not me. If I allow myself to agree with that, everything Rob does will go through the filter of "he doesn't love me." That means when he makes me soup, it's because he has to, not because he loves me. When he makes supper, it's because he has to, not because he loves me. When he runs to get my medicine, it's because he made a promise that forces him to do it, not because he loves me.
Now look where I am. Not only am I sick with this raging sinus infection, but my husband doesn't love me and actually sees me as a burden and would be having fun without me!
And Satan rubs his hands with glee because he is one victory closer to dividing my family and leading us right into divorce court.
Crazy? That doesn't really happen? Don't think those little thoughts are that big of a deal? According to Proverbs 23:7, "As a man thinks in his heart, so is he (KJV)." In other words, if I allow myself to think on those lies and be in agreement with them, THAT is my reality, and I will see the world in accordance with those agreements, and I will live in defeat.
It is easy to look at big things and see the war raging. It is also easy to overlook the more subtle "fiery darts" that are launched at us daily through the subtlety of our thinking or long-time thought patterns. Instead of becoming fixated on the large areas of defeat in our lives, we need to stop and ask the Lord to reveal the small areas of defeat that led to the larger crises. We have to allow Him to show us the lies with which we agree so we can hear and speak the truth that sets us free.
It's amazing how quickly the battle turns when we quit aiding the enemy by supporting their cause.
Praying for you to victoriously stand against the enemy in the Truth of His Word...
Let me explain this from a practical perspective.
I confess. I'm a lousy patient. When I'm sick, I'm whiny, and I want someone to take care of me. I don't want someone to drop in periodically. I want a nursemaid, hand and foot, beckon call. Yeah, I'm that needy.
Reality--I don't have anyone that fits that description.
What I have are friends who pray for me, call and check on me, fix meals when needed, and drop emails to say they love me. I have two children with hearts of gold who draw me pictures, get me drinks, read me stories in my bed, and close the door when I fall asleep. I have a husband who does his best to step into shoes that he is not used to, meet my needs, make sure I take my meds on time, feed the children, run the errands, keep the house, walk the dogs, and generally keep the ranch running.
A pretty good bunch, don't you think?
So here is my truth:
My friends love me and really will do all they can to help me.
My children want to help and will do what they can.
My husband tries to carry what he can so I can heal up.
I'm loved.
Folks are on my side.
God provides for my healing in a myriad of ways.
That is the truth.
While I have all those good things, I also have this voice that likes to whisper in my ear and say things like:
"Your husband really doesn't care or he would be in here rubbing your aching muscles. The children are in there making a mess in the bathroom for you to clean up when you are finally better, and they don't care that you are sick. In fact, they don't care that you are trying to sleep. If they did, they wouldn't be playing so loud. And what about that person you made roast for when her family had the flu? Has she even bothered to email and see how you feeling? No. Ungrateful. And why is that you can do all these things for everyone else, but no one can do anything for you when you feel lousy? And how come no else knows how to pick up clothes but you? Why can't anyone else put a stupid cup in the dishwasher for goodness sake? Do these people ever listen to you? Do they have any respect for you? If you just got in your car and left, do you think they would notice? No! And you know what? This sinus infection is turning into respiratory infections, ear problems, and hospital stays for people all over America, and now your immune system is shot, so you are more likely to get something worse, like the flu..."
And on and on the insanity goes.
This is the lie.
The lie says:
Those people I call friends, don't really care. If they did, they would do something. I don't know what, but something. They are just not trying hard enough. They don't value me. They don't care if I'm miserable.
Those children have lousy character, lousy hearts, and just stink.
My husband...well, we all know about him and how he hates doing anything for me, right? If he really loved me, he'd be more attentive. He'd be doing something. I don't know what exactly, but something! And since he's not doing it, he obviously doesn't care about me.
And that means this marriage that I have worked so hard for all this time is just not what I wanted. Other women have husbands that love them. If Rob were like them...
And God. Well, God didn't keep me from being sick with this, so what makes me think He'll keep me from being sick with something else or something worse?
Are you laughing? It is laughable. The insanity is laughable. And yet, it isn't.
When our minds are clear, we look at the above and think, "Great googly moogly! How did you make that kind of a stretch? That's nuts!"
But when I'm sick, tired, weary, lonely, wounded, or hurting, I hear those voices, and instead of calling them insane, I nod and say, "Yeah, that's right."
THAT, my friends, is where the warfare lies, and that is where victory is to be found.
Satan will whisper all kinds of lies, but we have to respond with the truth. When he says, "Your friends don't care about you," I have to say, "This friend has emailed three times today to see if I need anything. This friend offered to make me dinner. This friend is praying for me."
When he says, "Your children don't care," I have to say, "My daughter did dishes for me. My son read me a book. They made me pictures."
Whatever his lie, I have to respond with the truth. I cannot allow myself to agree with one single lie because if I agree, my mind becomes imprisoned in the lying way of thinking. Then no matter what my husband does, I put it through my broken filter.
For instance, my husband camped out with our son in the backyard one night while I was sick with a sinus infection. The truth is every sound hurt. However, Satan taunted me and said if Rob really cared about me, he would be with me, not having fun. See the lie: Rob loves fun, not me. If I allow myself to agree with that, everything Rob does will go through the filter of "he doesn't love me." That means when he makes me soup, it's because he has to, not because he loves me. When he makes supper, it's because he has to, not because he loves me. When he runs to get my medicine, it's because he made a promise that forces him to do it, not because he loves me.
Now look where I am. Not only am I sick with this raging sinus infection, but my husband doesn't love me and actually sees me as a burden and would be having fun without me!
And Satan rubs his hands with glee because he is one victory closer to dividing my family and leading us right into divorce court.
Crazy? That doesn't really happen? Don't think those little thoughts are that big of a deal? According to Proverbs 23:7, "As a man thinks in his heart, so is he (KJV)." In other words, if I allow myself to think on those lies and be in agreement with them, THAT is my reality, and I will see the world in accordance with those agreements, and I will live in defeat.
It is easy to look at big things and see the war raging. It is also easy to overlook the more subtle "fiery darts" that are launched at us daily through the subtlety of our thinking or long-time thought patterns. Instead of becoming fixated on the large areas of defeat in our lives, we need to stop and ask the Lord to reveal the small areas of defeat that led to the larger crises. We have to allow Him to show us the lies with which we agree so we can hear and speak the truth that sets us free.
It's amazing how quickly the battle turns when we quit aiding the enemy by supporting their cause.
Praying for you to victoriously stand against the enemy in the Truth of His Word...
Wednesday, October 14, 2009
Keepers of the Flame--Proverbs 31 Women's Retreat
I will be speaking on the Proverbs 31 Woman, but don’t worry. This is not the woman we’ve all come to hate with her Mt. Everest size to do list, running on little sleep, and making all the other women look bad for not keeping up. Quite the contrary. This is the woman of hope who knows who she is is defined by Whose she is. Come join me for a message of hope and promise.—Jerri
Keepers of the Flame – Proverbs 31 Women's Retreat
A Prov. 31 woman is a Keeper of the Flame, who keeps the light going in her own life by trimming her wick, and being filled with the precious oil of the Spirit daily, warring and contending for her family to keep the fire lit for Christ through the Word and Love!
Progressive Retreat, intimate and unique!
Ages 16 and up
Sponsored by Lighthouse Intercessors
Nov. 6-7th, 2009
Friday--7:30 pm
Saturday 9:30 am – 4:30 pm
Come stir up the gift that lies within you...renew your first-love, rekindle your passion, restore your vision, refresh your soul, revive your HOPE!
Special Speakers:
Sandy Anthony, Karla Shrake, Rhonda Harkins, Nandra Sherman, Charlotte Posa, Jerri Phillips
Prophetic and Healing Ministry:
Lorie Shelley, Debra Narvarte, Debra Morel, On Hui Wallace, Beatrice Montes
Invite your friends and come expecting your first-love to be rekindled!
To register email your name and phone number to lighthouseintercessors@hotmail.com or call 817-454-4918
PROGRESSIVE RETREAT CREATIVE ITINERARY
Friday
4:00-5:30 pm--Throne Room Soaking Session–On Hui Wallace home*
6:00-7:00 pm--Fellowship and Dinner @ Billy’s Grill (own cost)
7:30-10:30 pm—Intimate Issues or Healing
11:00 pm--Fellowship/Sleep-over for WOMEN ONLY at:
Homes Open: Nandra Sherman, On Hui Wallace
Saturday
8:00-9:00 am–-Breakfast
Remainder of retreat@ On Hui Wallace’s home*
9:30-12:30--Proverbs 31 Woman or Marriage
12:30-1:30--Lunch Chinese or Billy’s Grill (own cost)
1:30-4:30—Throne Room Encounter and Teaching on Mantles & 7 Spirits of God
4:30-6:30--SPECIAL HEALING/PROPHETIC STATIONS OPEN TO ANYONE
(No Charge-Please sign up family members with Rhonda Harkins)
Recordings of prophecy and teaching sessions will be made available after retreat.
COST: $50 for early registration for retreat – includes gifts, materials, breakfast
$55 for registration after Oct. 31st or at the door
*On Hui Wallace – 1916 Annabel Ave., Flower Mound, TX 75028
Keepers of the Flame – Proverbs 31 Women's Retreat
A Prov. 31 woman is a Keeper of the Flame, who keeps the light going in her own life by trimming her wick, and being filled with the precious oil of the Spirit daily, warring and contending for her family to keep the fire lit for Christ through the Word and Love!
Progressive Retreat, intimate and unique!
Ages 16 and up
Sponsored by Lighthouse Intercessors
Nov. 6-7th, 2009
Friday--7:30 pm
Saturday 9:30 am – 4:30 pm
Come stir up the gift that lies within you...renew your first-love, rekindle your passion, restore your vision, refresh your soul, revive your HOPE!
Special Speakers:
Sandy Anthony, Karla Shrake, Rhonda Harkins, Nandra Sherman, Charlotte Posa, Jerri Phillips
Prophetic and Healing Ministry:
Lorie Shelley, Debra Narvarte, Debra Morel, On Hui Wallace, Beatrice Montes
Invite your friends and come expecting your first-love to be rekindled!
To register email your name and phone number to lighthouseintercessors@hotmail.com or call 817-454-4918
PROGRESSIVE RETREAT CREATIVE ITINERARY
Friday
4:00-5:30 pm--Throne Room Soaking Session–On Hui Wallace home*
6:00-7:00 pm--Fellowship and Dinner @ Billy’s Grill (own cost)
7:30-10:30 pm—Intimate Issues or Healing
11:00 pm--Fellowship/Sleep-over for WOMEN ONLY at:
Homes Open: Nandra Sherman, On Hui Wallace
Saturday
8:00-9:00 am–-Breakfast
Remainder of retreat@ On Hui Wallace’s home*
9:30-12:30--Proverbs 31 Woman or Marriage
12:30-1:30--Lunch Chinese or Billy’s Grill (own cost)
1:30-4:30—Throne Room Encounter and Teaching on Mantles & 7 Spirits of God
4:30-6:30--SPECIAL HEALING/PROPHETIC STATIONS OPEN TO ANYONE
(No Charge-Please sign up family members with Rhonda Harkins)
Recordings of prophecy and teaching sessions will be made available after retreat.
COST: $50 for early registration for retreat – includes gifts, materials, breakfast
$55 for registration after Oct. 31st or at the door
*On Hui Wallace – 1916 Annabel Ave., Flower Mound, TX 75028
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)