Gratitude 38--When It Storms

Seven days...a universe is formed...a God proves His power...proves His willingness and ability to provide...

Seven days...in my life...He proves it all again...

916. Wonder Boy is in wonder as he sorts through his treasure trove of Legos...and he is thankful Ms. Vanessa was patient with the lost phone we couldn't answer...the slow timing of the day...

917. Finally finding the source of the smell...a rusted pipe easy to fix...

918. Carpet that easily pulls away so the soggy pad can dry...

919. Fans that keep air moving

920. A strong man in the house who could handle the rearranging of the bedroom.

921. Yellow fingernail polish, a missing Pet Shop, flashlight with batteries still powered...wonders lost and found...under the bed

922. The road home

923. Enough room to miss the pickup who wanted my lane...while I was occupying it

924. Brakes that were damaged but not broken when I avoided the embankment

925. Mechanics we can trust

926. Places to sleep that are not our bedroom...where tired and sick bodies rest close and comforted

927. The privilege of being a mom...especially when they really need one...

928. Doctors who do stress tests because something "seems wrong"

929. Surgical procedures that allow my dad to be alive and healthy longer.

930. Rest...when...

...the leak is fixed

...the carpet and pad are dry

...temperatures have returned to normal

...the van sits in our driveway again

...and the storm has subsided

NeedtoBreathe

I don't even have words, except to say it is my new favorite song. Check it out.

Something Beautiful by NeedtoBreathe

Where I am Reading This Week--June 11, 2010

My Father's Daughter -- The hole left gaping in a daughter's heart when a father chooses to abandon his post can feel too huge to heal, but God is not too small, and sometimes He fills a father-sized hole with a dad-like answer.

Gratitude 37--Celebrating a Father's Daughter

It isn't an easy day for her today, not because the calendar turns another year older but because this is the first birthday her dad did not give her a call first thing. He went to be with Jesus last fall, and today, the hole in her heart gapes big, and the tears fall hot. And today, I want to put my arms around her and hold her and somehow make it better, but really, there is nothing I can do but hand tissues...

...Except to honor the man who is gone by celebrating the daughter he left behind...

In counting the gift that is Rae...

901. She laughs deep, and it echoes...in rooms, in hearts.

902. Her door is open...to the homeless, to the hopeless, to anyone needing refuge.

903. There is always a cup of coffee

904. Whole body hugs...that hold on until you are okay to let go

905. Her words of honor and love for her husband

906. Her fierce devotion to friends

907. The odd things she finds funny...the same ones as me

908. If she has it and you need it, it's yours

909. The way she rolls with things

910. The mom she chose to be

Did I mention her laughter? :-)

911. Her phone that is on all hours, even when she is tired

912. Potato Salad

913. Learning to swim together at a lake in the country...I'd be terrified if my children did what we did

914. Faith talks

915. Her deep love, which hurts her now, but blesses those blessed to receive it.

The greatest gift is not in who she is...or what she has...but in how easily she gives herself away...

Happy Birthday, Rae! I love you!!!

Alone--The Place of Honor

Somewhere in my life I learned that being alone meant being a failure. If a person was alone, it meant he or she had not been sufficient for others to desire their company. It was more than being an outcast. It was its own scarlet letter, defining a person as having nothing to be desired by others.

Interestingly, I have spent a large part of my life feeling--and being--very alone.

To avoid this fate, I have often compromised and sacrificed greatly, sometimes my morals, more often myself. Each time I have lost far more than I ever hoped to gain, and I have come to realize that to be alone is not great shame. Sometimes it is a defining act of courage. It is not just the refusal to be what one is not, but the determination to be what one is. Honor and integrity are not most often found in large gathering. Instead, they are found in the choice not to gather.

It is simple to pick up a drink, a drug, a porn flick, or a grudge, and be part of the crowd. Anyone can do that. The fact is people will take anyone who entertains their follies. However, to go home to a spouse, to endure the pain till the other side, to honor one's vows even in the dark moments, or to let a matter go requires valour beyond the measure of most men. It requires a conviction of right and wrong, and a determination to accept responsibility for that conviction, a responsibility to act in accordance with the wisdom and knowledge of what is righteous, just, and holy.

This is not a light-weighted identity to carry, but it is one that allows a person to look in the mirror and be content with what she sees, one that allows a person to lie her head down at night and sleep deeply without torment of mind or spirit.

To be alone in such a manner is a choice of character, not a result of rejection. It is not determined by what a person is not, but by what she is.

Knowing what I truly desire to be, I choose to be worthy of being alone.

Where I am Reading This Week--June 4, 2010

Marriage Fully Decorated--Subtle comments and selfish attitudes can have a big impact, especially on marriage. In a non-condemning way, Christine encourages wives to look at the everyday interchanges that can either bless a marriage or make it a battlefield.

The Heart of the Beholder: the Power of God Esteem--For all the women who have been attacked by the world's eye view of beauty...

What She Did Now

My friend Sharilyn is a very talented woman. She is an amazing photographer. Her heart is pure gold, and she has the ability to make anyone feel incredibly special. She puts together lovely gift boxes that are so personalized that it is breathtaking. Some day I'll show you pictures of mine. When people who know her talk about how she blesses them, people wonder what beautiful gift she bestowed this time.

Last week I mentioned Sharilyn on my 1000 Gifts list, and people who know her asked what she had done. I really didn't know what to say because it sounds so small to them, but to me, it was like suddenly having air to breathe.

So what was this great thing she did?

She heard me. That simple.

Instead of simply reading the words I wrote, she heard what I couldn't say. She didn't see a writer with eloquent words. She saw someone hurting with no words at all. Instead of a quick response, she gave a quiet reach in...to where I sat with hopes unbreathing scattered around me.

It wasn't her profound solutions that blessed me. In fact, she offered no answer at all. It was simply her willingness to see me. Sometimes being seen holds the deepest healing of all. Then she sat down with me, put her heart's arm around my shoulders, and understood. Oh, the comfort of being understood. Oh, the refuge it affords!

We sat there. She in my email basket. I in her prayers.

And even though she is half a country away, I wasn't alone.

And for that, I was grateful.