One of the things the Lord has really impressed on me for this year is the importance of memorizing scripture. I have heard many excuses for avoiding this Christian discipline. However, the reality is excuses are just that--excuses. They are a justification for our not wanting to take responsibility for doing the right thing--the thing that feeds our soul, attacks a situation, brings down mountains, and breaks forth life. The Word says the Sword of Spirit is the Word of God. Why do we make excuses for refusing to pick up a weapon so powerful that it brought for the universe in six days?
If you have chosen to pick up your sword, one way you learn to wield is by memorizing scripture. I want to share a few methods for memorizing scripture.
1. Repeating aloud. Simply read the verse aloud repeated. For people who learn by hearing, this is great.
2. Technology aided. You can record it on an iPod or MP3 player and let it play back to you. Say it as it plays. This is great if you use your iPod for exercise or copy it to a CD to play in your car on the way to work or run errands. Hit the repeat button and let it go. Listen to it and repeat aloud. After awhile, you should be able to turn off the voice or CD and simply say it alone. Again, this is great for those who learn by hearing.
3. Write it down...over and over and over. I use this method because I remember what I see or read. One of the blessings of a photographic memory. There are 3 tactics for this. I use different ones at different time.
a. Break the verse or passage up into pieces, such as sentences or phrases.
Example: My children learned this in one day.
I command you to brave and courageous.
Do not be terrified.
Do not lose hope.
I am the Lord your God.
I will be with you
in everything you do. (Joshua 1:9 NIrV)
I wrote it on the white board that way. We read it several times. Then I started erasing words.
I command you to be brave and
Do not be
Do not
I am the Lord your God.
I will be with you
in everything you do.
More words were erased.
I command you to be
Do not
Do not
I am
I will
At that point, they had it memorized. Then we simply went through it a few times each day.
By the way, they each have their own journals, and they write down the verses they memorize and the date. We are building a foundation for them, and these are part of the bricks we use.
b. I write the scripture over and over. Each time I try to write more without having to look at the text. Usually, I have to write it four or five times to make it stick, and I try to keep my focus text under five written lines. If I am doing a long passage, I do it in sections. Today I worked on James 1:2-4. I worked on verses 2 and 3 by themselves.
Consider it pure joy, my brothers, when you face trials of many kinds, because you know the testing of your faith develops perseverance.
Then I worked on verse 4.
Perserverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.
Then I put the whole section together and wrote it several times. I use a simple spiral to write these in.
c. The last method incorporate color coding. An example is:
This is what I am commanding you to do.
Be strong and brave.
Do not be terrified.
Do not lose hope.
I am the Lord your God.
I will be with you
everywhere you go.
I use this with the children a lot. I make multiple copies on the computer and put them around the house. I put one in the bathroom, by their beds, on the wall so everyone can see it from the kitchen table. You get the idea.
Our goal is one sentence at a time. Breaking them up in colors makes the bites edible and not overwhelming.
Don't forget!!!
And that brings us to my final suggestion, put it everywhere so you can review it.
My friend Debra has verses on the wall in front of her toilet.
She has them on the cabinets in her kitchen.
She puts them like posters and post cards all around her bedroom.
If you walk in the door and turn to the side, there are verses.
You cannot walk into her house or move from room to room without seeing the verses.
She also has a packet in her purse at all times.
She takes them out and read them when she is waiting for her children.
She hands them to her girls to read while they are in the car driving from place to place.
Standing Together
Find an accountability partner or two. Tell them what you are memorizing and give them (or every other day) updates. Memorization really is a daily exercise. It takes about 27 days for something to become a habit, so try to make a goal of reviewing a verse everyday for a month. You can work on multiple verses at once. Write them all down in an email to your Accountability Warrior every day. If you are doing a whole section, and it takes two weeks to memorize, then write the whole thing you have memorized each day from the time you start that passage until a month after the last part is memorized. Does that makes sense?
After a month, the passage should be concreted in your brain.
So tell me, what scripture are you memorizing? Why? What is the Lord speaking to you through the verse(s)? You can email me through my profile if you want it private or share on the comments. Make it as long as you like. You never how much a fellow warrior may need what the Father is speaking into you, so share.
Blessings, Warriors and Warriors-in-the-Making!
Remember:
This is what I command.
Be strong and brave.
Do not be terrified.
Do not lose hope.
I will be with you
everywhere you go.
Friday, January 9, 2009
Wednesday, January 7, 2009
Prayer for our Soldiers
Two years ago our family started supporting soldiers through Any Soldier, a soldier support organization. That year we were blessed to support some very fine soldiers, and we have been honored to keep contact with some of them. One such soldier is SGT Kevin Zuniga.
SGT Zuniga returned to Iraq in December, and we have again committed to supporting him. The requests of him and his squad are simple: letters, cookies, but most of all, prayer.
Prayer comforts their hearts, protects their bodies, and refreshes their spirits. They cannot do their job and return to "normal" life without the power of God to help them.
You do not have to visit Any Soldier or find a specific soldier who needs prayer. They all do. Please remember them in your quiet time, family prayers, and corporate prayer. And please don't forget their families as well.
Thank you.
SGT Zuniga returned to Iraq in December, and we have again committed to supporting him. The requests of him and his squad are simple: letters, cookies, but most of all, prayer.
Prayer comforts their hearts, protects their bodies, and refreshes their spirits. They cannot do their job and return to "normal" life without the power of God to help them.
You do not have to visit Any Soldier or find a specific soldier who needs prayer. They all do. Please remember them in your quiet time, family prayers, and corporate prayer. And please don't forget their families as well.
Thank you.
Tuesday, January 6, 2009
Minutes
Every minute counts.
Minutes make up hours.
Hours make up days.
Days make up weeks.
Weeks make up months.
Months make up years.
Yearts make up a lifetime.
And every lifetime counts.
YOUR lifetime counts.
Minutes make up hours.
Hours make up days.
Days make up weeks.
Weeks make up months.
Months make up years.
Yearts make up a lifetime.
And every lifetime counts.
YOUR lifetime counts.
Sunday, January 4, 2009
Still Understanding
At the end of each year, I ask the Lord for a "word for the next year". What does He have to say that I can be in agreement with in mind, body, and spirit? Sort of an overriding direction, if you will. This year's word was so simple it has been a bit hard to wrap my mind around.
He said simply, "Be still and know that I am God."
This is a foreign concept to me.
I grew up on a farm. I was an athlete. I am a mother of two, homeschooler, church volunteer, "Type A", has to be doing something with my hands while I watch TV kind of person. Be still? Frankly, I didn't even have a working knowledge of what that means. So, I do what I always do. I looked it up.
My Hebrew Keyword Bible didn't help much. It simply said "still". Huh.
So I pulled out my dictionary. "Still" has a number of meanings, but simply put it means without motion, noise, or distraction. In other words:
"Quit focusing on what you can or can't do or what is happening around you. Understand I AM God, and it is all about what I can and will do."
I don't know about your year, what kind of year your coming out of or the things you face right now. I don't know the mental, emotional, or spiritual details. I do know most everyone I know, including myself, has something they would like to see changed, something that hurts them, overwhelms them--things much bigger than they are. And we've all done all we know to do to change things, to fix things. And what do you do when nothing you do makes a difference? Be still. After all He's God.
Understand?
He said simply, "Be still and know that I am God."
This is a foreign concept to me.
I grew up on a farm. I was an athlete. I am a mother of two, homeschooler, church volunteer, "Type A", has to be doing something with my hands while I watch TV kind of person. Be still? Frankly, I didn't even have a working knowledge of what that means. So, I do what I always do. I looked it up.
My Hebrew Keyword Bible didn't help much. It simply said "still". Huh.
So I pulled out my dictionary. "Still" has a number of meanings, but simply put it means without motion, noise, or distraction. In other words:
"Quit focusing on what you can or can't do or what is happening around you. Understand I AM God, and it is all about what I can and will do."
I don't know about your year, what kind of year your coming out of or the things you face right now. I don't know the mental, emotional, or spiritual details. I do know most everyone I know, including myself, has something they would like to see changed, something that hurts them, overwhelms them--things much bigger than they are. And we've all done all we know to do to change things, to fix things. And what do you do when nothing you do makes a difference? Be still. After all He's God.
Understand?
Tuesday, December 16, 2008
What's in a Name?
A name is not merely a word to reference things. A name is an identity, and as much as some would like to believe it "is only a name", it is a definition, a blessing, or a curse. Something to live with or live in spite of. A name can alter one's life drastically.
Change Miss to Mrs, and see the hope in a woman's eyes.
Change Mrs to Miss, and see tears pool as loss and grief spill from the heart.
Change Stranger to Son, and you have the story of salvation. If that doesn't change a life, nothing will.
See a child named Stupid, Ugly, or Unwanted and witness the impact of such names. Change those names to Creative, Beautiful, and Beloved and watch a miracle grow before your very eyes.
A name can be everything.
About a month ago, our family had to deal with the imposing of a name.
My husband and I have been married 17+ years. He is a wonderful man. Most women I know would love to have a husband like him, and I understand why. He is a fabulous dad. He is generous, kind, has a servant's heart. He doesn't go to bars, doesn't drink, doesn't gamble, doesn't do drugs. He is faithful and trustworthy. He truly is wonderful.
He's also confusing.
Despite the wonderfulness of my husband, he has an odd inconsistency about him, and over the years I have sought counsel from multiple church leaders, women's mentors, all kinds of Christian sources. For the most part, I was told it was my fault. I was too demanding. I was too negatively focused. I just refused to see the good thing I have. I just didn't want to follow. I needed to repent of being too headstrong. You get the idea.
My general thought has always been that it is hard to follow someone who walks sort of a messed up drunkard's path. I always felt I was standing on sand that could change at a moment's notice. Not Rob's character, but his thinking, what had his interest, and what was important.
He would assure me he supported something I wanted to do and then seemingly sabotage it by putting in so many other things it became impossible for me to whatever it was. I could go and on, and as most of you read it, you would see each puzzle piece and give it an explanation and dismiss it. I know because it has happened to me for 17 years. However, my friend Debra listened as I explained all the puzzle pieces that had finally grown to the size of Mt. Everest, and she new the real name of the mountain. The real name is Asperger's.
Asperger's is a form of autism. It isn't like most of us think of when we think "autism". Most of us think of children locked in their minds unable to talk, respond, or function alone. Asperger's doesn't fit the classic picture at all, which often makes it hard to identify.
Asperger's is often found in geniuses. It has nothing at all to do with intellectual ability. It does affect emotional and social ability. Imagine someone with an IQ in the genius level who gets "stuck" with the social and emotional maturity of a teenager. Imagine the things that characterize teenagers: the impulsivity, being driven by gratification, the emotional maturity, the short-sighted thinking, only see the details without seeing the big picture--like the consequences (the trees but never seeing the forest), inability to see others' point of view, inability to empathize. Now, imagine adults capable of doing adult things, having adult lives, but still think and respond as teenagers. Now, think about being married to one of them.
While it is true that having a name for our insanity is helpful. It says that under the circumstances, we are normal. It also means we are doing really well. 80% of Aspie marriages end in divorce (thus, we are thankful for the 20%). It means nothing I could have done in the last 17+ years would have helped Rob respond differently. It took a lot of guilt and responsibility off me and hopefully him.
It also means Rob isn't simply being insensitive and will one day get a clue. It means all the things he has done for 17 years that has broken my heart he will most likely continue to do because he still won't know better. Try that realization on from the side of a man who wants to be a great husband and from the side of a woman who simply hoped for another adult to help carry the load and be her support. There are no words for the sense of grief that washes over you at that moment.
It's just a name. Nothing has changed. And yet, everything is different.
There is no cure, and if you read most articles about Asperger's, it'll leave you horribly depressed and hopeless because it points out that there is nothing you can do. Thankfully, we are not ones to care about what we can and cannot do. Instead, we care about what God can do and what He wants to do in and through us.
We believe He can accomplish His plans for us, plans to give us hope and a future, plans to do us good and not harm.
We believe He can be glorified in our hearts and our marriage.
We believe He can give us strategies to not just survive but to flourish.
We believe Asperger's was defeated on the cross, and we are more than conquerors in Christ Jesus.
We believe He can use us to show others that Asperger's is not a death sentence but just another mountain that offers a great view from the top.
Yes, a name changes things. Sometimes the changes seem bigger than us, but no matter what name gets thrown at us, we are sure that the name of Jesus never changes, and that is what changes everything.
Change Miss to Mrs, and see the hope in a woman's eyes.
Change Mrs to Miss, and see tears pool as loss and grief spill from the heart.
Change Stranger to Son, and you have the story of salvation. If that doesn't change a life, nothing will.
See a child named Stupid, Ugly, or Unwanted and witness the impact of such names. Change those names to Creative, Beautiful, and Beloved and watch a miracle grow before your very eyes.
A name can be everything.
About a month ago, our family had to deal with the imposing of a name.
My husband and I have been married 17+ years. He is a wonderful man. Most women I know would love to have a husband like him, and I understand why. He is a fabulous dad. He is generous, kind, has a servant's heart. He doesn't go to bars, doesn't drink, doesn't gamble, doesn't do drugs. He is faithful and trustworthy. He truly is wonderful.
He's also confusing.
Despite the wonderfulness of my husband, he has an odd inconsistency about him, and over the years I have sought counsel from multiple church leaders, women's mentors, all kinds of Christian sources. For the most part, I was told it was my fault. I was too demanding. I was too negatively focused. I just refused to see the good thing I have. I just didn't want to follow. I needed to repent of being too headstrong. You get the idea.
My general thought has always been that it is hard to follow someone who walks sort of a messed up drunkard's path. I always felt I was standing on sand that could change at a moment's notice. Not Rob's character, but his thinking, what had his interest, and what was important.
He would assure me he supported something I wanted to do and then seemingly sabotage it by putting in so many other things it became impossible for me to whatever it was. I could go and on, and as most of you read it, you would see each puzzle piece and give it an explanation and dismiss it. I know because it has happened to me for 17 years. However, my friend Debra listened as I explained all the puzzle pieces that had finally grown to the size of Mt. Everest, and she new the real name of the mountain. The real name is Asperger's.
Asperger's is a form of autism. It isn't like most of us think of when we think "autism". Most of us think of children locked in their minds unable to talk, respond, or function alone. Asperger's doesn't fit the classic picture at all, which often makes it hard to identify.
Asperger's is often found in geniuses. It has nothing at all to do with intellectual ability. It does affect emotional and social ability. Imagine someone with an IQ in the genius level who gets "stuck" with the social and emotional maturity of a teenager. Imagine the things that characterize teenagers: the impulsivity, being driven by gratification, the emotional maturity, the short-sighted thinking, only see the details without seeing the big picture--like the consequences (the trees but never seeing the forest), inability to see others' point of view, inability to empathize. Now, imagine adults capable of doing adult things, having adult lives, but still think and respond as teenagers. Now, think about being married to one of them.
While it is true that having a name for our insanity is helpful. It says that under the circumstances, we are normal. It also means we are doing really well. 80% of Aspie marriages end in divorce (thus, we are thankful for the 20%). It means nothing I could have done in the last 17+ years would have helped Rob respond differently. It took a lot of guilt and responsibility off me and hopefully him.
It also means Rob isn't simply being insensitive and will one day get a clue. It means all the things he has done for 17 years that has broken my heart he will most likely continue to do because he still won't know better. Try that realization on from the side of a man who wants to be a great husband and from the side of a woman who simply hoped for another adult to help carry the load and be her support. There are no words for the sense of grief that washes over you at that moment.
It's just a name. Nothing has changed. And yet, everything is different.
There is no cure, and if you read most articles about Asperger's, it'll leave you horribly depressed and hopeless because it points out that there is nothing you can do. Thankfully, we are not ones to care about what we can and cannot do. Instead, we care about what God can do and what He wants to do in and through us.
We believe He can accomplish His plans for us, plans to give us hope and a future, plans to do us good and not harm.
We believe He can be glorified in our hearts and our marriage.
We believe He can give us strategies to not just survive but to flourish.
We believe Asperger's was defeated on the cross, and we are more than conquerors in Christ Jesus.
We believe He can use us to show others that Asperger's is not a death sentence but just another mountain that offers a great view from the top.
Yes, a name changes things. Sometimes the changes seem bigger than us, but no matter what name gets thrown at us, we are sure that the name of Jesus never changes, and that is what changes everything.
Sunday, December 14, 2008
Jericho's Walls
This is the 100th post on my Jerri Phillips blog. How wonderfully appropriate that it would deal with healing and the fall of the enemy!!!
As some of you may remember, back in February, I had symptoms indicative of a heart attack and went through a battery of tests. Thankfully, there was no heart attack. However, we were shocked when I was diagnosed with an enlarged heart. The Lord poured peace out on us, though, and we trusted Him to handle it. I watched my blood pressure, and really, there was nothing more I could do. It was up to the Lord.
A week ago Friday, I had my repeat echocardiogram to see if there were any change. Friday I went in for the results.
In short, he said it had not changed. The echo showed my left ventricle wall was thickened. The doctor asked me about my blood pressure, which is fabulous. He asked why it was elevated at his office, and I gave my explanation (it was not done with the correct protocol, but if he wanted to use the correct protocol, it would be fine). He agreed my explanation would truly explain it. Then we got into serious discussion about why the wall was thick, and we discussed my workout routine. Rob and I play tennis 3 times a week, and I walk 20-25 minutes every morning (yes, EVERY morning), and I do toning exercises every (yes, every) day. He said that could explain the thickness.
Then I brought up my bigger concern. When the nurse called in February, she said the wall was “significantly thickened”, but when the nurse called Tuesday, she said it was “slightly thickened”. There seems to be a large difference between “significant” and “slight” in my mind, so I was disappointed that there was no change. He decided to pull up the results so I could see the numbers, and he could explain better.
For those who like numbers:
Outside wall went from 1.3 to 1.1.
Septum wall sent from 1.2 to 1.0
(stuff I don't remember) 4.3 to 4.8
Those looked good to me, but then, there was a huge jump in the next number. He was quiet a moment and then said, “Uh, I have to change what I said. Your heart is a lot better. The thickness measurements have dropped, and the volume your heart is pumping has increased. Your heart is doing great. And after comparing these, I would say had I known your exercise routine and then looked at your latest results, I would say they were normal. Your heart is what it should be for your exercise load.”
I just said, “Thank the Lord.”
I asked when I needed to drop back in or have another echo, and he said, “For what? There’s nothing to check. You’re fine.”
Isn’t God absolutely amazing???!!!!!!!
So as you celebrate the season of Christmas and God’s gift of Jesus, celebrate with us this gift of healing that the Lord has given, too.
As some of you may remember, back in February, I had symptoms indicative of a heart attack and went through a battery of tests. Thankfully, there was no heart attack. However, we were shocked when I was diagnosed with an enlarged heart. The Lord poured peace out on us, though, and we trusted Him to handle it. I watched my blood pressure, and really, there was nothing more I could do. It was up to the Lord.
A week ago Friday, I had my repeat echocardiogram to see if there were any change. Friday I went in for the results.
In short, he said it had not changed. The echo showed my left ventricle wall was thickened. The doctor asked me about my blood pressure, which is fabulous. He asked why it was elevated at his office, and I gave my explanation (it was not done with the correct protocol, but if he wanted to use the correct protocol, it would be fine). He agreed my explanation would truly explain it. Then we got into serious discussion about why the wall was thick, and we discussed my workout routine. Rob and I play tennis 3 times a week, and I walk 20-25 minutes every morning (yes, EVERY morning), and I do toning exercises every (yes, every) day. He said that could explain the thickness.
Then I brought up my bigger concern. When the nurse called in February, she said the wall was “significantly thickened”, but when the nurse called Tuesday, she said it was “slightly thickened”. There seems to be a large difference between “significant” and “slight” in my mind, so I was disappointed that there was no change. He decided to pull up the results so I could see the numbers, and he could explain better.
For those who like numbers:
Outside wall went from 1.3 to 1.1.
Septum wall sent from 1.2 to 1.0
(stuff I don't remember) 4.3 to 4.8
Those looked good to me, but then, there was a huge jump in the next number. He was quiet a moment and then said, “Uh, I have to change what I said. Your heart is a lot better. The thickness measurements have dropped, and the volume your heart is pumping has increased. Your heart is doing great. And after comparing these, I would say had I known your exercise routine and then looked at your latest results, I would say they were normal. Your heart is what it should be for your exercise load.”
I just said, “Thank the Lord.”
I asked when I needed to drop back in or have another echo, and he said, “For what? There’s nothing to check. You’re fine.”
Isn’t God absolutely amazing???!!!!!!!
So as you celebrate the season of Christmas and God’s gift of Jesus, celebrate with us this gift of healing that the Lord has given, too.
Thursday, December 11, 2008
Gratitude 10--Finding My Way Back
When I posted about my shoulder on November 17th, I knew it might take quite a bit of time before I was able to post again. The pain I experienced was unbearable, and I knew a great deal of healing had to occur before I would be able to write again.
I had no idea that the return would be delayed further by emotional pain that at times would feel utterly unbearable and would require healing before I could write again.
As I sit to write this, I feel as though I am learning to walk again. Perhaps that is because I am. A different path has been laid out before me. To the casual observer, it might look like the same one, but to those who have walked here or have walked with me, it is obvious the path I thought I was one is merely a mirage. This one is laiden with landmines, heartache, and questions. Some days the very thought of it leaves me overwhelmed and heart broken beyond words. Other days, a determination to believe in the promises the Lord has repeatedly given forces me to keep moving. And on other, days that are coming more and more often, an excitement that this journey is not one of loss but one of joy, victory, and prosperity propels me forward with an anticipation that only God himself could put in my heart. It is on those days that I know we will not merely survive, but we will flourish, and we will teach others to flourish as well. The question then becomes how to walk this road, not the one I thought I was on or the one I hoped for, but this one. I confess that I don't know. I am learning.
My writing has always been about my journey, and with a new journey and learning to walk it, I find myself learning to write again as well.
On one hand, it is tempting to simply write as though as were well and nothing had changed. I could do that. I know how to perform well. I am quite adept of presenting a lie. I've done it for many years.
On the other hand, I am shakey as to what to say or how much to explain at this point. And frankly, I'm tired of the clouds that have settled over us for the last month. I am ready to see some sunshine, and the fastest road through the clouds is not denial, but gratitude. It doesn't fix things, but it certainly does wonders for one's hope during the journey. And so, I offer thanks.
Thank you God in Heaven...
1. For your forgiveness when I blow it huge.
2. For not walking away when I get mad and ask why.
3. For catching every tear and sitting with me as I cry.
4. For folks who say, "Yep, it's that hard."
5. For your faithfulness.
6. For your promises that are always yes and amen in you.
7. For being with us in the middle of the night when sleep eludes us.
8. For giving different kinds of "crazy" specific names.
9. For friends who pray fervently and love deeply.
10. For strategies to overcome.
11. For the determination to watch the enemy fall under our feet.
12. For the conviction that we can overcome and teach others to overcome as well.
13. For Debra who wouldn't let me be in denial. :-)
14. For people who prayed when all I could do was cry.
15. For laughter.
16. For Christmas.
17. For children who love this time of year.
18. For the 4th Writers, who offer grace.
19. For Mary B, who calls in reinforcements.
20. For Vicki, who googles and arms herself so she can stand with me.
21. For whoever had the great idea to put lotion in Kleenex.
22. That Anna's pathology came back with "Benign" on it.
23. That Robert's foot wasn't broken.
24. For Christmas songs that we can turn up really loud and sing to--even louder, of course.
25. That you never waiver.
26. For the hard times.
27. For the easy times.
28. For Christmas lights that transport us beyond...
29. For 60 dozen cookies that went to our soldiers in Iraq, and all the women who made them.
30. For peace.
31. For the 20%.
32. For knowing where I am and being with me...even when I feel I am having to find my way back.
I had no idea that the return would be delayed further by emotional pain that at times would feel utterly unbearable and would require healing before I could write again.
As I sit to write this, I feel as though I am learning to walk again. Perhaps that is because I am. A different path has been laid out before me. To the casual observer, it might look like the same one, but to those who have walked here or have walked with me, it is obvious the path I thought I was one is merely a mirage. This one is laiden with landmines, heartache, and questions. Some days the very thought of it leaves me overwhelmed and heart broken beyond words. Other days, a determination to believe in the promises the Lord has repeatedly given forces me to keep moving. And on other, days that are coming more and more often, an excitement that this journey is not one of loss but one of joy, victory, and prosperity propels me forward with an anticipation that only God himself could put in my heart. It is on those days that I know we will not merely survive, but we will flourish, and we will teach others to flourish as well. The question then becomes how to walk this road, not the one I thought I was on or the one I hoped for, but this one. I confess that I don't know. I am learning.
My writing has always been about my journey, and with a new journey and learning to walk it, I find myself learning to write again as well.
On one hand, it is tempting to simply write as though as were well and nothing had changed. I could do that. I know how to perform well. I am quite adept of presenting a lie. I've done it for many years.
On the other hand, I am shakey as to what to say or how much to explain at this point. And frankly, I'm tired of the clouds that have settled over us for the last month. I am ready to see some sunshine, and the fastest road through the clouds is not denial, but gratitude. It doesn't fix things, but it certainly does wonders for one's hope during the journey. And so, I offer thanks.
Thank you God in Heaven...
1. For your forgiveness when I blow it huge.
2. For not walking away when I get mad and ask why.
3. For catching every tear and sitting with me as I cry.
4. For folks who say, "Yep, it's that hard."
5. For your faithfulness.
6. For your promises that are always yes and amen in you.
7. For being with us in the middle of the night when sleep eludes us.
8. For giving different kinds of "crazy" specific names.
9. For friends who pray fervently and love deeply.
10. For strategies to overcome.
11. For the determination to watch the enemy fall under our feet.
12. For the conviction that we can overcome and teach others to overcome as well.
13. For Debra who wouldn't let me be in denial. :-)
14. For people who prayed when all I could do was cry.
15. For laughter.
16. For Christmas.
17. For children who love this time of year.
18. For the 4th Writers, who offer grace.
19. For Mary B, who calls in reinforcements.
20. For Vicki, who googles and arms herself so she can stand with me.
21. For whoever had the great idea to put lotion in Kleenex.
22. That Anna's pathology came back with "Benign" on it.
23. That Robert's foot wasn't broken.
24. For Christmas songs that we can turn up really loud and sing to--even louder, of course.
25. That you never waiver.
26. For the hard times.
27. For the easy times.
28. For Christmas lights that transport us beyond...
29. For 60 dozen cookies that went to our soldiers in Iraq, and all the women who made them.
30. For peace.
31. For the 20%.
32. For knowing where I am and being with me...even when I feel I am having to find my way back.
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