As the rain and the snow come down from heaven, and do not return to it without watering the earth and making it bud and flourish, so that it yields seed for the sower and bread for the eater, so is my word that goes out from my mouth: It will not return to me empty, but will accomplish what I desire and achieve the purpose for which I sent it. -- Isaiah 55:10-11

Thursday, October 28, 2010

Dark Places

When I am in a dark place, I tend to be quiet, to sort of hide in the shadows.

I do not wish for people to see my tears, to hear my sobs, or to share their advice. I do not want people to expect me to be anything. I do not want people to expect me to be "over it", to be strong for others, to be happy anyway, or to be miserable with pain.

I simply want to be.

Right now, I am in a dark place.

A dark place isn't a bad place. It is simply a place where I must depend on something...Someone...outside myself to give direction because none of my senses are reliable at this point. All I know and all I think mean nothing because in the dark, sounds are magnified, steps are not obvious, and I am guessing...about what lies ahead...about what lies behind...and how the two relate.

The dark is a place to be quiet, to be still, to rest.

And I am resting...from the voices...from the expectations...from needing to know everything...from needing to understand...from needing to have answers.

I am simply being.

And there is a peace in simply being...

...Even when it is in a dark place.