Some of you know what I mean. Some of you are rereading that sentence for the fourth time trying to figure out the logic, thinking you missed a word or two. You didn't.
For several months now I have pretty much avoided creative blogging. For months now I knew what the Lord was bringing me to. The edge of the mountain that required faith to leap from the precipice and fly was coming. I am standing on the edge, and I am ready to fly. Im fact, I believe I have leaped, and now I am trying to figure out how to make my wings work.
I do not fear falling. Either God will catch me, or He'll pick me up and dust me off when I hit bottom. Either way, I'm okay.
I simply feel awkward. Perhaps it is an adolescent stage for dreams in which one knows a new expertise is necessary but the experience to wield it isn't there yet.
On December 31st, I posted "Mine". It is simply part of Joshua 1. This is the word the Lord gave me for the year. It is my promise, my challenge, my compass. The enemy tried to steal it from me by whispering that it was too good to be true, I was hearing what I wanted to hear. I told him to talk to my Daddy, and I simply asked the Lord to confirm His word or correct it. That night I was at church speaking with a friend, and he said, "This is a year when dreams come true. In fact, such incredible things are going to come true that they are not even dreams. They are so far beyond what we have the daring to hope for that they are beyond fantasy." I took that as confirmation.
I have a lot of dreams. I have dreams for my marriage, my family, for writing, speaking, photography. Do I think all of them will come true this year? I think things will happen that are so incredible I didn't even have the courage to think about them.
I can say with great rejoicing that I am already seeing those dreams come to pass, and I am disciplining myself accordingly to receive the other dreams. I am also being hit with opposition. It's not a shock. The Israelites didn't take the Promised Land by walking in one day and everyone giving them the keys to the cities, BUT, everyone that was overtaken knew the power of God was with the Israelites. As a result, they feared them. I believe the enemy knows he has had ground for a long time that is no longer his, and he fears this. Still, he is going to fight to keep hold of his land, even when he knows it is pointless.
The enemy's attack takes many forms. Some of you reading this have already experienced it. For me, the assault sounds like this: You have nothing to write about. You can go to the writer's groups and conferences. You can learn the technical stuff, but you have nothing to write about. The Lord hasn't given you a topic or an outline. You have nothing. You're going to get to November and have nothing. Then what? Where did all your ideas go? They're gone. You know why? Because they weren't of God. You have nothing.
Seriously. That is what I've been hearing for over two months over my writing, speaking, and photography. The attack to steal my promises for my marriage and family are worse, and the last two weeks have been incredibly intense. However, the nagging attack that make me want to avoid my computer are in the areas of writing, photography, and speaking.
For instance, I need to turn something in for critique for my writer's group in two weeks, and my mind is blank. I have been avoiding my blog because my mind seems so blank.
But here is something I've seen over and over in God's Word and in my life: God is good at filling empty.
Look at the widow who needed to pay her debts. Her oil didn't pour out until her debt was paid.
Look at the woman who was going to make bread for her son and herself and die. Instead, she made bread for the prophet, and it lasted through the famine.
Look at the miracles Jesus did. They weren't powerful because of what people had but because of what they needed.
The Lord told Paul, "In your weakness, my strength is evident."
The enemy is trying to get me focused on my weakness. He's right. Jerri Phillips has nothing--no, that isn't true. I have something.
I have the promise of the King.
I have God Almighty's word--or God's almighty word. The voice that spoke the world into being out of nothing has spoken His creative word into my personal nothing, and life beyond what I can fathom, that will reach beyond my realms of knowing, that will continue to expand according to His purpose has been declared into existence. It is as real as the computer I'm typing on.
My only weakness that matters is the weakness to see His power. Refusal to see the Lord's power is what killed the Israelites in the desert. He hasn't told me I'll die in the desert. He's told me, "It's time to take the land."
The enemy wants me to believe I don't know what to say, but I do.
"It's time to cross over because by the word of the Almighty God, this land is mine."
3 I will give you every place where you set your foot, as I promised Moses. 4 Your territory will extend from the desert to Lebanon, and from the great river, the Euphrates—all the Hittite country—to the Great Sea on the west. 5 No one will be able to stand up against you all the days of your life. As I was with Moses, so I will be with you; I will never leave you nor forsake you.
6 "Be strong and courageous, because you will lead these people to inherit the land I swore to their forefathers to give them. 7 Be strong and very courageous. Be careful to obey all the law my servant Moses gave you; do not turn from it to the right or to the left, that you may be successful wherever you go. 8 Do not let this Book of the Law depart from your mouth; meditate on it day and night, so that you may be careful to do everything written in it. Then you will be prosperous and successful. 9 Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go."
10 So Joshua ordered the officers of the people: 11 "Go through the camp and tell the people, 'Get your supplies ready. Three days from now you will cross the Jordan here to go in and take possession of the land the LORD your God is giving you for your own.' "