Forever Part 1

I spent some time chatting with my friend Scott over the weekend. I like talking to Scott for several reasons. Mostly, he's just flat groovy, but he makes me think. He's one of those folks that isn't presumptuous or pompous in any way. He doesn't get into the heady, aloof, intellectualer-than-thou condescension. In fact, he's one of the most down to earth people I think I have ever met, which is another reason I enjoy chatting with him. Interestingly, despite not getting into the deep thought stuff, he always gives me some deep truth to ponder or at least truth so close to home that I walk through my living room and trip over it.

Our last conversation was about being single and dating.

I asked him how he handles being single. His answer made me feel better because the truth is, I don't do single well. He told me there were a lot of things he missed. I read his list and laughed, and then I realized I couldn't give him my list because it would just look like I copied his. <I laughed again>

Honestly, it felt good to see that there are men who like what I like, want what I want, miss what I miss.

However, that isn't what left me pondering.

When I told Scott, I am surprised by how many men are so quick to toss out the term "forever", he said he thinks in forever terms. Honestly, I do, too. I am not interested in casual dating or the Maybe/Maybe Not MerryGoRound. If there isn't a chance of forever, I am really not interested. This doesn't seem to be a problem, except it really is because for me "marriage" and "forever" are not synonymous.

Most people I know like the idea of being married. They like the concept of couple. They like the warm body in bed with them, having someone to see movies with, a playmate for those romantic weekends, and the wondrous high of someone who shares interests...and likes them back. I like those things, too. They feel good.

They are not, however, forever.

Forever isn't enamored with right now. Forever takes the words "till death do us part" and decides to live purposefully between now and then.

Forever asks:

How do we keep the friendship we have now tight a year from now, five years from now, twenty years from now?
What do we do now that brings us close, and how do we maintain that when everything else is vying for our attention?
How do we keep the sexual attraction alive instead of letting it become a simple physical act?
Are we both committed to keeping us the priority we are now?
In what ways can I show you that you continue to be the most valuable person in my world?
How do we make sure we are two people creating one life together instead of becoming two people living different lives merely sleeping in one house?
How do I show you I don't just like living with you but that I love life with you...not just now...but forever?"

I know there are a lot of people who want to get married. I'm all for marriage, but I've been married. Now, I want more than that.

I want.....

.....forever.