As the rain and the snow come down from heaven, and do not return to it without watering the earth and making it bud and flourish, so that it yields seed for the sower and bread for the eater, so is my word that goes out from my mouth: It will not return to me empty, but will accomplish what I desire and achieve the purpose for which I sent it. -- Isaiah 55:10-11

Friday, April 29, 2011

Who I Really Am

One of the hard things about being separated and looking at the possibility of divorce is the change of identity and roles. Sometimes it is hard to get my feet under me concerning who I am and exactly what I’m supposed to be doing. I’m a wife, but I’m not. I’m a single mom, but I’m not. I’ve always been the strong one that people depended on, and now, I feel like it is a great accomplishment to make sure we have three meals a day.

Most days I don’t feel like me, like the me I’ve been or the me I’ve wanted be. I’m not sure who this person is that cries so easily, struggles to battle feelings of rejection, and can’t function without a to do list. But surely, surely she isn’t really me.

This morning I lay in bed feeling heavy with the weight of everything, feeling like I’m fighting to get to get my feet under me, and I pray all I know to pray. “God, please give me a foundation to stand on because I’m sinking.”

I hope for a verse. Instead, I get love notes all day long.

(To read more, join me today at (in)courage .  Look forward to seeing you there.)


My daily walk in His grace! said...

Hi Jerri. A friend of mine pointed me to your post on incourage and my heart breaks for you. I want you to know that I will pray for you, for strength for every day. I am going to start a mini prayer list on my blog to remind myself so I dont just say it, I'll do it. I have a verse for you. One which helped me big time when I was feeling very low. Its Isaiah 58v11: The Lord will guide you continually, and satisfy your soul in drought, and strenghten your bones; you shall be like a watered garden, and like a spring of water, whose waters do not fail. God bless, Tracy

Jerri Kelley said...

Tracy, with deepest sincerity, thank you. Pryaer is everything. Thank you for your words of water to my soul. The Lord has repeatedly given me verses declaring He was making a new way in the wilderness and streams in the desert. He had not given me this verse, and it is a gift to me. Thank you for the joy of hope and encouragement. Bless you, and I will see you at "My Daily Walk in His Grace".