If you are still with me, a lot of you are quite possibly offended or hurt (probably not if you are just reading this, but the folks to whom it was addressed were). Okay. I’m not going to tell you not to be. What I will tell you is this, so are we. Offended, not so much because we understand people don’t get it or just don’t know how to handle the situation. Hurt…deeply.
My suggestion is to do what we’ve been doing for months and years: take your offense and anger to God. Ask Him if your reaction is uncalled for or if you simply don’t like the truth, and then ask Him what, if anything, you need to do about it.
Rob and I talked before I started this, and we knew some folks would get mad, some would respond defensively, and some would simply delete us from their lives. I asked him was he okay with those reactions and consequences. We agreed if people are only going to inflict pain on us or the children, we don’t care if they talk to us anyway, and there are already a lot of people that we have been very strict about guarding our hearts from because of the pain they’ve inflicted in the past. While we are not trying to alienate people, we would rather have a big distance than to dread talking to people because we know the pain that will come. In both cases, the relationship is torn. At least this way, both sides would know why. As it is, there are phone numbers we refuse to answer and emails we either don’t read or don’t respond to. If you are one of those, now you know why, and you have the opportunity to address it.
Believe it or not, despite what I’ve written, we love you. If we didn’t, we’d simply write you off and not speak to you. We hope this letter communicates our hearts, answers some questions, stops some gossiping, and offers some perspective from this side of the can’t-believe-you’re-such-a-failure line. If it sounds like attacks, it really isn’t meant to be. I simply have no patience for diplomatic wording that has no clear meaning or impact. We both wanted this to be as clear as possible so we were not misunderstood and our words did not get twisted and used against us in some warped way. Hopefully I did that with as much diplomacy as possible. If not, well, I guess pray for me there, too.
Thank you for taking time to read and listen.
God bless you.
Rob and Jerri
If this was not written to you but you see yourself in these posts as someone who inflicted pain, even unintentionally, please prayerfully consider how God desires for you to repent to the one(s) you hurt. There is so much healing in hearing someone who has hurt you acknowledge the injury and ask forgivness. If you are one who has been hurt, I'm so sorry. My heart goes out to you. If you are brave, tell the people who have hurt you. I have received many heartfelt apologies as a result of this letter. If you cannot do that, you still have to face to the pain to find the healing. May God graciously show you how you need to do that.
God bless you, and may His love pour forth in healing in all ways...